| Re: The Not Dead
Descriptive prose needs a plot framework to hang from, which means that events need to happen. Usually this will involve characters interacting with each other and/or their environment. Your closing line, with the revelation that the narrator killed his woman, that's an event, but most of the preceeding text is descriptive scene-setting. The key to good storytelling is to allow events to unfold with as little descriptive clutter as possible.
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