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[¡Punk!]

God: shite vet

Me: can you help me?
God: What kind of help would you like?
Me: my dog's arse is all inflamed and he keeps trying to bite his own arse
God: Did you grow up around animals?
Me: just my family
God: Do robots have family?
Me: that would depend entirely on your definition of family
God: Perhaps it would.
Me: so can you help my dog?
God: Yay. Certainly, I have an extensive built-in help system.
Me: what should I do about his derriere?
God: Are you asking me for advice?
Me: yes
God: Specifically, what kind of advice do you want?
Me: advice on the enflamed rectum or a male chinese crested powderpuff canine
God: Can you ask for advice in the form of a question?.
Me: how can i fix my dog's arse?
God: You must persuade me to fix your dog s arse.
Me: please?
God: Please what?
Me: please can you fix my dogs arse?
God: Thank you for your request. Please describe the problem in detail.
Me: his rectum is inflamed and he keeps biting it
God: Where did he get it?
Me: i have no idea
God:" Where did he get it??" No idea about that?
Me: none
God: Hmm.
Me: it happened when I was in Jersey. I came home to find out my dog had turned into a baboon
God: "It" being what? Where are you going?
Me: I'm going to shag yer maw
God: Congratulations.