Column: Has alternative culture killed romance?

[JennyPiccolo]

I apologise in advance for my Carrie Bradshaw-esque endless rhetoric, but in a subculture where bisexuality, promiscuity, and open relationships are not unusual, where does it leave the soft-hearted young fools like me?

I'm sick of only consummating a relationship after fourteen pints of diesel, or lying alone between bouts of intercourse while the eager young man fucks off for a joint or a game on the Playstation, or worse, to write on the forum. I'm sick of chat-up lines like 'I'd cheat on my girlfriend for you' or 'It's five to three, if you were gonna pull someone better, you would have by now'. Have we always been cold, hard people, or do we just treat each other badly because that's the way we're always treated, just because we're different?

To look at, I'm hardly a beacon of alternative culture, but it's the only 'scene' if you will, where I've been able to feel comfortable. As an essentially weird person, I only ever felt I fit in...

Click here to read the entire review

[Foxglove]

Humans by nature are tribal. Being "alternative" is just another name for a tribe. There is a misconception that being "alternative" means that you are an individual as many people still want to be perceived as belonging to a group regardless of what it is called. It may be a group of friends or going to certain clubs or supporting a football team or chatting about your music taste. There are few if any real individuals in this world as it is not something that humans are really capable of and not really a big deal.

Romance is a separate issue and a person's definition of romance will be something individual to them. It could be that a person wants flowers and chocolates, or just getting a text or message showing that the person they care about is thinking of them. Romance is not something that is really a concept that can be defined - much like love. I know what I find romantic, but I am sure that what I perceive to be romantic will not be something other people think is such.

"Alternative" cultures purport to be accepting of people for their "individuality" yet many people would and do write 1000s of words about how terrible popular music or culture is. No one has the right to judge anyone's taste in music or lifestyle or feel that they are superior to others because their taste in music, clothes and so on is not as popular as others fashions. True acceptance is to be able to see past a person's taste in clothes and music and for it really not to matter. However, it is natural to tend to flock to those who have a similar taste to yourself.

I don't think the "alternative" scene is more accepting of sex without emotion and promiscuity in general. The highest teenage birth rate in Europe is in Hull (I believe) and I doubt that the teenage mum's there would all be classed as in to the "alternative" scene. I have no facts (how do you survey such a thing?) but I very much doubt that open relationships and promiscuity is any more prevalent in the "alternative" culture than in society in general.

Now let me say - the article was good. It raised topics to be thought over and discussed and that is what has happened. I enjoyed it and think the general questions raised are worth considering.

[Seph]

Thats standing up for your opinion.

[AMillionScreams]

Originally Posted by Devastator

No, save it for yourself and that saucer of milk.

No dice.

[Seph]

.

[AMillionScreams]

Ha ha, right click and save

[Cat]

To be honest, I don't identify alternative culture with the death of romance simply because I find it difficult to identify any true alternative culture. The supposed 'scene' and its standard of individuality and open-mindedness is a farce.

[Mulac]

Bingo.

[Seph]

I'm bored...any excuse to manipulate things.

[mysterio]

Originally Posted by Woolies

Romance is the beautiful wild flower growing beside the compost heap of apathy, negativity & disrespect - the stench will simply overpower and envelope you if you let it and never learn to search for the beauty close by.

Romance is sharing the stars you see with others when all they see is an empty sky - if you look with the right eyes you'll see whole worlds and galaxies where there was only black.

There ya go, i knew i came in this thread for a reason

Nice one.

Originally Posted by Scene-This

"Those clubs", what the ones where "other people" go? Nobody "alternative" would ever go into a club where dance music is played would they? Sorry, but I know a few people (including myself) who would be seen as "alternative"( because of clothes, music, piercings, whatever) who listen to dance music and go to clubs like the Arches and The Metro. The music someone listens to and clubs they go to doesnt make them any different. If you met me on the way out of a Carl Cox gig or DJ set at the Arches would you think I was more likely to buy you flowers than if we met a System Of A Down or Iron Maiden gig?

This dude called it too.

As for the 'alternative scene' - i don't even acknowledge it anymore. It's all alot of simple tricks and nonsense. There's no scene guiding my destiny.

Etc.

[Seph]

I love you all.

[Cat]

Aye, but where's the romance?

[JennyPiccolo]

Originally Posted by eviltwinisdead

i think it's an acceptable method of starting a discussion. and it has.

i think it's clear that these are things mhairi has though of, and she already has been accused of being wrong, so it's kind of irrelevant whether she phrased it as a question rather than an opinion out of fear.

Exactly. I phrased it as a question because it has been a question I've asked myself, and i don't see it as fact, but a plausible explanation. I don't think people behave badly because they're part of a scene, but i think it's more accepted in these circumstances.

Also, i just wanted to see how everyone would react. An article called 'alternative culture is gay and doesn't understand me' probably would have recieved a more intelligent response, so it was all a bit of a waste of time.

[Seph]

Originally Posted by Cat

Aye, but where's the romance?

I don't love you.

(f)


You're pretty, but my boat is not afloat. Lack of romance.

[MarkMono]

Posit a theory, half the folk agree, half the folk don't, after six posts everyone just argues over the wording.

Pedantry, pah.

[JennyPiccolo]

yes. alternative culture is wriggly pedantry, and I'm a hammer trying to hit it.