Get Smart, don't watch it.

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Re-imagining of Mel Brooks' 60's tv series goes horribly wrong.

It's not heretical: It's a very naughty film

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Unabashed genius gets a bit of an ear bashing from Christians with no humour.

If only it hadn't.

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If I didn’t know any better, I might be tempted to say that The Happening, with its laughable dialogue, clumsy performances and ludicrous plot, is actually a subtly disguised subversive comedy. The problem is, I don’t know any better. Perhaps M. Night Shyamalan has managed to fool the masses with a clever and crafty spoof of his previous body of work, with such convincing deadpan delivery as to leave even the likes of Larry David scratching their glossy bald craniums in befuddlement. I’d initially planned on this being a straightforward, standard review. However, I found that I had far too much that I wanted to say, and far too many aspects that I felt needed to be ridiculed; therefore what follows is more along the lines of a step-by-step deconstruction, rather than a simple review. Whilst there are indeed many spoilers included, this should in no way be considered a deterrent from reading this, as there is no possible way that the spoilers contained could ‘ruin’ this film...

The slut loved it

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Now at the risk of seeming a bit Daily Mail here...girls love it. They don‘t love being raped but most girls, generally, enjoy sex. Fair play to them; it's one of my favourite pastimes as well. Some girls likes their sex to be all candle-lit and like something from a soft-core porn film. Some guys like that too. Some people also like Michael Bolton. Let’s discount these people as they suck (and probably suck badly as tho’ your cock/clit was gonna jump out and bite them at any second). Most sensible people with a sex life like a bit of variation and, at some point, this will surely involve something a bit rougher. Of all the people reading this there will be some who enjoy being tied up/slapped/spat on/humiliated/choked and even tortured. If this is carried out between two consenting adults then fair play to all involved. Most sensible people fantasize. Some of these fantasies involve being completely in control and others involve completely losing control. Into this...

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Jobbies, Nine Inch Nails, reality TV, hoovering and Hollywood – Christopher Brookmyre, one of Scotland’s premier crime fiction authors, speaks to Alternative Nation. Alternative Nation: Swearing features quite heavily in your writing: can you tell us your favourite swearword and why? Christopher Brookmyre: I don’t know if I could even call it a swearword, but I’d have to go with the word jobby. There’s something quite intrinsically funny about it in any circumstance; even just onomatopoeically speaking it is a funny sounding word. AN: How did you get started writing? CB: Having worked in newspapers people think that there’s some kind of progression, but there really wasn’t. I wanted to be a writer for as long as I can remember… since I was about six-years old. In fact, when I worked in newspapers I worked as a sub-editor and wasn’t even doing any writing – I was only ever interested in writing fiction. I was writing in my spare time when I was working in London but when...

Bergman's classic raped

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Comparison of Craven's "Last House on the Left" to it's source "The Virgin Springs" by Bergman.

We accept you - one of us!

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Modgets, half-boys, pin-heads.. ooh and mutiliation

Still banned. Still crap.

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Gang rape, anal gang rape, animals being killed, drills going into people's legs and heads and arses, three year old boys having sex, heads exploding, a guy's chest opening up and biting another guy's hands off, Christopher Lambert's Scottish accent and Mannequin 2: Mannequin on the Move. A short list of some of the things I've seen on celluloid that some would see as offensive, disgusting and immoral. They would be as well if it was real life but it isn't. Infact The Accused, Irreversible, Apocalypse Now, Rest Stop, The Tin Drum, Scanners, The Thing, Highlander and even Mannequin's god awful sequel have been released uncut by the BBFC. With the recent explosion of "Gorno" as a genre and some of the horrific gore scenes involved in Hostel, Saw and the like what does it take to have a film banned by the censors? Enter La Bestia In Calore. La Bestia In Calore (The Beast In Heat) is also known as SS Hell Camp, Horrifying Experiments of the S.S. Last Days, Holocaust Nazi, The...

The finest "banned" film ever

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A review of Peeping Tom with a short discussion of the problems it faced on release

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There are a number of things people ask you when you tell them you are studying psychology. Some appear to assume you are psychic and ask "Do you know what I am thinking?” Others seem to hold the notion that those studying psychology have an obsessive compulsive tendency to constant psychoanalysis "I bet you've been analyzing me all night?"(Note to fellow male psychologists on the odd occasion said individual is an attractive female don't respond "Naw, I was just staring at your tits. It rarely goes down well...). Another common myth is that psychologists become psychologists out of some inherent need to understand what’s wrong with them. As clearly a desire to understand the arcane and mysterious workings of the human brain and behavior is indicative of some deep seeded trauma or repression. I can assure you in my case its not. I ended up doing psychology because, by happy accident, I put down psychology and computing on my UCAS form and soon discovered that...