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2nd June 2003, 2:36pm
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#1 | | Good times
Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Bohemia.
Posts: 29,712
| The Rules of Hardcore. 1) Be tough at all times.
2) Never cheer after a show.only clap.
3) Be open minded in a "punch people" kind of way
4) Only the good hardcore bands have names that are sentences with bad
grammar. Boy Hits Car, Boy Sets Fire, Skycamefalling, Boy Sets Car-fire.
5) Ankles are tough so bring your socks down into your shoes so we can
see them.
6) Tattoos are tough especially when they are on your calves. See Rule 3
on how to see said tattoo more clearly.
7) Wear your hoody in the mosh pit because sweating like a wild pig
makes you look tough.
8 ) Don't admit you listen to heavy metal.
9) (Exception to rule 8 ) Only admit you listen to heavy metal if you
think it is ironic and you wear 80's cheese metal shirts.
10) Be a non-conformist, just like all your friends.
11) Practice hardcore dancing in front of your mirror and then try them
out the next time Atreyu comes to town.
12) A hardcore band is only original if you call it something-core.
Example Screamcore, emocore, Screamocore, mathcore, or Medio-core.
13) Remember, it's fun to punch and kick kung fu style.
14) Keep it in the do-jo.
15) Real hardcore fans are called kids.
16) Complain how hardcore bands are playing with metal bands at all
costs!
17) Have your own zine, website, production company or be in a band.
Claim you are friends with the singer from Shai Halud.
18 ) Tell people you work in the music industry.
19) More Ankles people!
20) Embrace everybody in the scene except for those people who are not
you.
21) Refer to bands as old school or new school then act tough again.
22) Pretend that you get Dillinger Escape plan.
23) Shop at second hand stores and then go buy expensive shoes.
24) Beat people up and then go to bible study class.
25) Smoking and drinking and having sex before marriage is too trendy.
Real hardcore tough guys abstain.
26) Whatever you do, don't let the singer on stage ever sing in the mic.
Make sure you grab it from him and sing in it yourself, after all, you
do a better job singing then him. It's a wonder they didn't put you on
the album.
27) Start your own hardcore band.
28 ) Have your logo resemble some random 80's product for nostalgia.
29) Talk about the scene any chance you get. Say as many obscure
hardcore bands from NJ as possible.
30) If you are shy start an emo band so you don't have to look at the
audience.
31) People who know more bands than you are better than you.
32) Add the Letter X before and after important words. XhardcorekidX
XmoshfuckX
33) Never say "Did you hear the new Strung Out?" Unless you are
attempting to be funny in which case stop it because hardcore kids are
tough not funny.
34) It's merch not Merchandise.
35) Hardcore girls must wear head bands at all times.
36) Stretch your ears out to look more intimidating.
37) The bigger you stretch you ears out the more hardcore you are.
38 ) Your ear should be stretched out enough to accommodate a block of
wood, a hubcap or a penis.
39) People in the front row are best used as a ladder/staircase to reach
your goal.steal the mic away from the singer.
40) When people ask you if you like a band always say "I only like the
old stuff" or "I haven't really gotten into the new stuff".
41) Buy all of that bands merch.
42) Wear your new merch at the next hardcore show.
43) Repeat steps 41 and 42
44) If you have to wear glasses make sure they are thick, black framed
ones.
45) Don't tell anybody but make sure you try on your new vintage clothes
and stud belt before heading out to see Poison the well.
46) Never admit you don't like Hatebreed and go see them live 12 times a
year.
47) Complain that they are playing with slayer but don't admit you
actually like Slayer.
48 ) Complain at all costs.
49) Tag team hardcore dancing is cool
50) Real hardcore kids are really struggling photographers.
51) You don't go to hardcore concerts, you go to hardcore shows. BIG
difference.
52) Name your hardcore dance moves things like "The mother fuck" or
"kick that guys ass move" or better yet..stay home and cry.
53) Protect your body from swinging limbs by sacrificing your two arms.
54) Scream about love.
55) All age venues are important so you are not tempted to drink.
56) Claim you know a guy who knows a guy whose best friend was standing
next to the guy who got his ass kicked during Converge. Bash the
hardcore scene and then go see The Get Up Kids.
57) Anytime somebody mentions a band always say you know somebody in the
band.
58 )Wear your pins with honour! Shai Halud, American Nightmare, Minor
Threat and the purple heart of valour.
59) Velcro shoes are cool.
60) Don't admit that you have a crush on the singer from Walls of
Jericho. If somebody asks, say you respect her as a musician only.
61) Your band name should contain one of the following words: Blood,
Murder, Kill, Victim and butterfly.
62) Print your band name as if it was on a bad printing press. Actual
graphics are for posers.
63) Sleep on a portrait painted prettier then everyone.
64) 100 bands from around the world to play in your city. All of them
are the world's best hardcore bands. Every label represented, every
hardcore genre present. The venue is the best all-ages venue in the
world. Tickets are $1.00. It is your job to go around saying the
festival should be free.
65) Record producers must make sure to pump the mid because mid is
tough.
66) Re-issue your demos after every album.
67) When the band starts playing everybody join hands and make a big
circle so we can watch the big kids play.
68 ) Crying on stage makes you a professional.
69) Complain some more.
70) Album covers must be made at home on Photoshop by your good friend.
71) If you are from New York NEVER smile in a promo pic. In fact always
try to cross your arms and look into the camera as if you are going to
beat up whom ever is looking.
72) If you are from New Jersey NEVER smile in a promo pic either. In
fact try to look like you just lost your girl friend to the hardcore
band from New York.
73) Never admit that Emo is Country music lyrics mixed with pop rock
riffs and marketed by 17 year olds trying to make their friend be the
next Dashboard Confessional.
74) Pop Idol is your worst enemy. (But you voted for Gareth)
75) You can get away with glitter on your face as long as your stretched
ear plugs are clear.
76) Fuck beer, Got breast milk?
77) Bandanas are cool.
78 ) Bandanas with big X on them are cooler.
79) Bandanas with big X on them were cool last week you poser.
80) Your best friend is a guy named XattackX from Jersey who you chat
with on MSN everyday. He is coming to see you one day. Really.
81) Chunky breakdowns in your songs are original and you should continue
to do them despite every other band doing them which is clearly a rip
off of your band.
82) Judge other bands and always compare them to the socio-cultural
effects of the band Integrity.
83) Look up Socio-cultural in the dictionary and then get offended.
84) Green Day is the real reason you are still alive.
85) Describe your group of friends as "the scene" and then watch
bootlegs of last weeks
86) Obey the laws of the hardcore scene or forever be banished from the
circle.
87) When somebody asks you what is hardcore respond with "I am hardcore"
then punch somebody in the face for looking at you wrong.
88 ) Keep punching
89) Kick a little too
90) Punch
91) Add a threat about their mother for good measure.
92) Pretend you are won the fight then pickup your dismembered left arm.
93) You are wearing the same thing as the 40-year old gas pump attendant
but for some strange mystical reason you are cooler than he is.
94) Tell everybody that Trustkill Records are too trendy.
95) Did you stop acting tough? I saw you hug that teddy bear.
96) Pierce you tits and tattoo your body.
97) Straight bangs means straight-edge
98 ) Being vegan means you can't swallow sperm.
99) When in doubt Mock everything
100) Take everything personally.
101) Assume this list is about you!
__________________ You tell me that I make no difference; at least I'm fucking trying! Independent Glasgow gigs: tiob.co.uk | myspace.com/tiob |
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2nd June 2003, 2:58pm
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#2 | | Hyphen Hyphen
Join Date: Apr 2001
Posts: 15,251
|
Barry 
__________________ Quote: |
Originally Posted by Classic Grand Dancefloor No matter how hard you try, you can't stop us now | Club MySpaz Club Bebo My Bebo |
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2nd June 2003, 3:13pm
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#3 | | I hate your band SuperMod
Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Slacktivism
Posts: 33,966
| Fun for all the family. You made up the bit about medio-core though, didn't you, you topical toe-rag?
__________________ The interval between birth and death is fractal. Any given moment is infinitely deep and rich, and therefore one lifetime is quite enough for me. |
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2nd June 2003, 3:23pm
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#4 | | Good times
Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Bohemia.
Posts: 29,712
| Heh, wasn't me, and I can't source it 'cos it was posted without source by a random on Punktastic. I don't know what I'd do without Punktastic.
__________________ You tell me that I make no difference; at least I'm fucking trying! Independent Glasgow gigs: tiob.co.uk | myspace.com/tiob |
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2nd June 2003, 3:24pm
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#5 | | From Myth To Laughter
Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Whitby, Ontario
Posts: 4,005
| It's funny cos it's true.  |
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2nd June 2003, 5:36pm
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#6 | | Kill A Celebrity
Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Glasgow
Posts: 4,140
| <lol>
I have been guilty of the ankles and tattoo'd calves thing today, i must be sooo hardcore.  |
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2nd June 2003, 6:19pm
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#7 | | Punisher Moderator
Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Glasgow
Posts: 9,003
| I don't get the ankle thing. The rest of it is pretty funny, in a its funny co its true sort of way. It inspired me to listen to Stampin Ground, their actually really good.
__________________ No matter where you go, you are what you are player
And you can try to change but that's just the top layer
Man, you was who you was 'fore you got here  |
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2nd June 2003, 7:01pm
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#8 | | Nufftastic
Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Kilmarnock
Posts: 6,195
| A lot of that is true thats why its funny.You have to love the hardcore scene.
__________________ We float face down,but don't we all look so content. |
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2nd June 2003, 8:07pm
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#9 | | Maxin' Private Eye
Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Stealing Your Drink/Im Thristy
Posts: 667
| Loved the one about Trustkill records. |
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2nd June 2003, 9:34pm
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#10 | | Purple Haze
Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Cambuslang
Posts: 3,732
| HC indeed. *flexes muscles*
__________________ Quote: |
Originally Posted by Big_Boss If I start thinking down that path there may be no end to the insane statements I could make. | |
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2nd June 2003, 11:50pm
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#11 | | Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: greenock
Posts: 2,410
| fantastic, im so not hardcore 
__________________ All you Punks and all you Teds
National Front n Natty Dreads
Mods Rockers Hippys and Skinheads
Keep on fighting till your dead |
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2nd June 2003, 11:55pm
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#12 | | Guest | toe core | |
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3rd June 2003, 12:01am
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#13 | | Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: greenock
Posts: 2,410
| Xtoe coreX mind
__________________ All you Punks and all you Teds
National Front n Natty Dreads
Mods Rockers Hippys and Skinheads
Keep on fighting till your dead |
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3rd June 2003, 12:47am
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#14 | | Jay Jay Bot.
Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Lestah!
Posts: 5,691
| wow i dont even like hardcore music and i can relate to those. I must be in the wrong 'scene' - all my 'scene' like just plain old rock bands, none of that emocore, screamcore, gennocore, maybe i should invest in ear plugs and trucker caps.
__________________ 
鸡下来. |
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3rd June 2003, 10:41am
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#15 | | kellermeister
Join Date: Aug 2001
Posts: 5,212
| Heh, funny.
Was pop idol screened in america? Cause it looks like an american who made the list with all ages venues + $'s and such.
__________________ |
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