blogging is like journaling, right?

for the last week, i have ditched my friends, my boys, because they told one of my black friends that she was a n****r and they were going to lynch her. she has never started anything with them. they were persecuting her based on the fact that she was black and they were fucking skinheads who don't know their fucking asshole from a hole in the ground. i was sad to ditch them though.

last year, on my birthday, they all came up to my front yard and sang to me, then lined up single file and each gave me a hug and a kiss. one of them has cancer. one of them takes care of his girlfriend when her druggie mom beats on her. one of them has to take care of his dad. one of them got raped and abused until he was sixteen.

they are all people with their own problems and their own lives. i have talked to them about this racist shit before, and to be perfectly honest, i tried to kill their "leader" last year.

she reported it, and the right people took action. i thought once he was gone this would go away but they're angry at her for reporting it, angry at me for being on her side, angry at the people they were with for getting them called in just by association.

i thought that was as far as it went.
ever heard of murphy's law?

yesterday i was on my porch with the guys who were in that group, but not involved in the whole scandal. guillermo, joeseph, brandon, flores, joey, and william. one black guy is across the street, yelling nigga this and nigga that at us, and he drops his bike and crosses the street.

he comes up and starts screaming at joey, telling him he was a pussy and couldn't fight and all this stuff, and then two more guys come up.

at this point, guillermo was on my lap (don't ask) so i threw him off, stood up and told them to get the fuck off my property. i dialed 911 but didn't press call. one of the two that joined the first one pulled out a shank and started yelling.

the third kid was yelling now, still the n word, and i'm telling you, this kid was beige at best. i'm mexican and irish by ethnicity, but the irish is what shows, and i was darker than this kid.

i figured out from the yelling that they had been pushing joey around, calling him the n word, and he said it back to them. joey is mexican.

i find that word extremely offensive, i do, however, when an individual refers to oneself and their friends as such, one can only assume that (besides a lack of integrity) the word has lost the meaning. you cannot, logically, say you're a bitch, call your friends bitches as a term of endearment, and then get offended when someone calls you a bitch.

anyway, i yelled, i screamed, i threatened, they threatened, they left.

when i could breathe right, i grabbed the knife out of my room and waited for the guys to get back from escorting joey home. i wanted to know if they started anything else. everyone was fine, so i went to go do they interviews at the plaza for a documentary on (here's the irony) gang and racial violence.

today i was going to the store, and guess who's walking around when i get into the parking lot?
(murphy's law again)

for the second time in my life, i actually checked over my shoulder all day. they didn't follow me into the grocery store, they just pointed and kept walking. i know what that means.