People & Me - Volume 1

With a near complete lack of anything typically emo in my life to write about in this thing (rendering it almost completely useless), I've taken the notion to post a few entries about people who are in or have been in my life that are or have been important to me. No specific reason why, but in my opinion a man's life is worth about as much as the people who have been in it, and since there are or have been such a large number of completely amazing or at least defining people in mine, I thought a little something about them in my journal might be something actually worth looking back on one day. Yes, it's kind of a gay idea. I don't really recall ever seeing anyone do this with a journal before, so at least it's a little different from the usual 'omg life is so bad I'm gonna cut my wrists' crap you usually read on the internet. I do however have to promise myself I'll write about even the negative influences, too. Not for the first one, though... first, but not least, I'll start with one of the best friends I've ever had, and ever will have... the big man himself, Big Papa C, Mr John "Cuff" Cuthbert".

I've known John for maybe as long as 15 years now, give or take. I was actually introduced to John's social circle one drunken night by Meech at a gig in the Garage, though for the life of me I can't remember which one. At that point he didn't particularly stand out, what with the number of people I vaguely remember Meech introducing me to that night, it wasn't until shortly after when we met up to go to Donnington that he started to stick out. I'm sure one of the man's earliest stories about me involves how intensely bad I needed to pee about 30 seconds after the bus (with no toilet) left Glasgow. Happy days.

I'll quite often bore Janette with tales of his legendary summer BBQs, some of which involved my good self getting to the point of 'hilariously' forgetting how to walk, only to get up later and throw all my clothes at Meech and the girl Meech was shagging in John's Mums bed. I've got a million of these great John-related tales of debauchery I could share, it's almost... almost guaranteed you'll have a great night in his company. Except for when someone pisses him off, and he gets the ol' fuck fists going. Even at that you're probably still likely to get a funny story out of it.

I think John can stand out as being quite an imposing figure... he's a big guy, even when he went on that miracle diet and got skinnier than me. You might be mistaken for thinking him for being another meat-headed tattooed Misfits loving beer swilling sexist porn addict. You'd be wrong, unless he's acting like a meat-headed tattooed Misfits loving beer swilling sexist porn addict. Dead wrong.

Over the years, I got to know John better and better, up to the point where I seen more in him than what I'd initially seen. We went to the Mull folk festival a few years back, and the two of us were travelling together by bus without everyone else around. In the cold light of the afternoon with no booze at hand, it occurred to me just how great a guy he was to just hang out with. It occurred to me that even though to this day he probably won't admit it, he's as deep as he is tall, if you let him be. I'd probably call this weekend a catalyst for just how great our friendship became. Of course once we got there we got so stupidly wasted that I don't actually remember anything other than chocolate Fingers, which believe it or not isn't a metaphor for gay sex, it's just what everyone who now goes to the Mull folk festival now has to spend the weekend eating.

Fast forward a little bit, and John becomes like both my partner in crime, and my guardian angel. The guy must have seen it all with me. Forget partying and boozing. This guy seen me through some of the most intensely amazing years of my 20's, and on the other side of the coin, there's the chance I wouldn't even be here today to talk about it if he wasn't there to see me through some of the most intensely dark times, too. Let's start with those. There is nothing, nothing in this world that I would feel uncomfortable sharing with John, no matter how fucked up or disturbing or flat out stupid and embarrassing it was. He doesn't have the answer, but that's the beauty of it. Sometimes, you don't need someone to tell you what you're doing wrong, or someone who will spout meaningless enigmatic zen shit at you, or even someone who will judge you. All John ever had to do is listen to me, and look out for me, and in that respect I think he's done more for me than just about most people I've ever known. To this day, I'll remember one of the greatest pieces of advice I've ever had that came from him. I was having a tough time in general, compounded by the fact that I was supposed to be doing some studying for some exam thing my work was paying me to do. I just couldn't handle it at that particular time. He told me, he doesn't like it when I'm unhappy. If something makes me that unhappy, then I just shouldn't do it anymore. Such simple advice, not rocket science, but by God, I don't think anyone has ever been more right.

Then there's the good stuff. John was, from pretty early in the band's formation (when we were more likely to tell people we were called 'Muppets In Stereo', and spent all day playing Misfits and Therapy? covers), a big player in Minus3. He was my other half. Everything, even when Meech was in the band, was me and him versus every motherfucker in the world. When Meech finally quit, it was that desperate need to show every motherfucker in the world we meant business that we both shared that took me on one of the greatest rides I've ever had. John wrote "Said & Done", which I think is by far the best example of where we were at. I couldn't have done it without him, and I am VERY quick to correct people who might assume that I was the band (ugh). That summer before Janette came along an I pretty much single-handedly fucked up the whole Minus3 thing will always stick in my mind as being so memorable just because of the enthusiasm, dedication, passion, and willingness to be creative and share creativeness that John and I shared. If we had kept it up, and I will put my hands up and say it's pretty much entirely my fault that we didn't, who knows where we could have ended up. The lack of John is actually one of the major reasons I haven't cared to start up another band here in Toronto, or make any effort to get into the scene here. What the hell is the point of it without John?

A short while before I left Glasgow, I got John a job at Allied, where I worked for so many years, in the IT department (to replace Stevo, who hilariously is now back at Allied). I don't think I've ever been able to stress enough how incredibly proud he made me at Allied. Being that he's the type of guy who can give the first impressions I mentioned earlier, and that he didn't really have much of an IT background, there were those higher-up than me who really had their doubts. Be it on my head, I told them. Give him a chance, and if he's no good, it's my fault. Well, I'll tell you what. In all my years there, I don't think I ever seen anyone work so hard at making a good impression. Go back to "Said & Done". They let him have his say. They let him have his turn. And he proved every single motherfucker wrong in the end, when all was said and done. I remember the last company-wide meeting we had (featuring international teleconferencing with the Canada branches of our company, and ALL the big shots), they announced the top employees of the year. And right up there on a giant projector screen being beamed all across the world was John's smiling mug. Fuck first impressions, dude rocked the house that rocked the house. And he's still there. I don't think I have to worry about him ruining my reputation...

Well, there you go. When I started writing this, I didn't intend to write a billion words on the subject of John, but there it is. There's so much more I could say, and want to say, too. Maybe I could write a book. "Cuffy & Me". Hey, this is just how it is. Of all the people I left back home in Glasgow, John is one I probably think about just about every day. There's always something comes up, something I see on the TV, or something I hear, or someone I walk past on the street, and I think to myself, "it'd be great if John was here to see this, he'd get it". It broke my heart that he couldn't make it over to my wedding. There are a lot of people I've known for years that I really couldn't care less about, and I have to be honest and say that. John, on the other hand? There's so much we've got left to do, dude. I don't intend to write about people who read Alternative Nation (or even know Alternative Nation exists), but I know John does, though that's nothing to do with me writing this. As I said, I don't feel like there's anything I can't say to the man. In that respect, John... I miss you, dude, badly. I hope life back home is treating you as good as you've treated me over the years, and I can't wait to get back there and catch up... hell, you need to get your ass over here and see my house in the flesh, but I've got a feeling life around here might be too boring for you.

So,anyway, here's to John Cuthbert, one of the best friends I could ever have hoped to have. Cheers, dude. See you soon.

(Plus his missus has smashing baps. That's an important thing to have in a friend, I say.)