[Politics] Glasgow North-East to get Banjo'd.

[Mwezzi]

John Smeaton is to stand in the Glasgow North-East/Westminster by-election, fighting for the seat formerly held by Michael Martin.

Unfortunately, he didn't seem to know much about the very people who fund him, which isn't a great start.

Originally Posted by BBC

One of the men who helped foil the Glasgow Airport terror attack is to stand as an independent candidate in a Westminster by-election.

John Smeaton said he would fight the Glasgow North East seat vacated by former Commons Speaker Michael Martin.

During a news conference in a Glasgow hotel he pledged to "badger" MPs and "bring a storm down on Westminster".

The former baggage handler struggled to answer questions about the Jury Team which is funding his campaign.

Mr Smeaton is the first candidate selected by Jury Team to stand for a seat in the House of Commons.

Jury Team, which was founded earlier this year by the former director-general of the Conservative Party, Sir Paul Judge, backs independent candidates who stand for public office.

...

"I reckon most of you shared the same disbelief as we watched them try to excuse their greed over expenses. It really made my blood boil."

He was asked about a Jury Team proposal that MPs' pay should be linked to the civil service pay scale.

When asked which civil service pay grade it should be linked to, Mr Smeaton said: "I think they should be paid what they are due."

On supporting a proposal for elected select committees in the House of Commons, he said: "It's something that I've not looked into but I'll look into it and I'll get back to you on that."

When asked about immigration, he said that "it needs to be looked at" and added that immigrants have done a "fantastic job in this country" but the system "needs to be fairer".

Expenses row

When pressed on what's unfair about it, he said: "I just think it needs to be fairer across the board."

[Edit: whups, can't correct the title. north-east]

[sjonit]

theres only 1 john smeaton, he can never be beaten

[metallideth]

Guy is an absolute balloon, so he'll no doubt fit in nicely if elected.

[XMachina]

His plan for the election is the same as the airport incident; wait for his opponent to take a fall, kick him and phone up sky news claiming all the credit.

[Semprini]

As much as the guy's a cretin, he'd probably still be better than Michael Martin.

[pANDAS Radio]

These publicity whores always stand for election in poor areas don't they? Independent just means that none of the political parties want him, not even Respect or The Tommy Sheridan Appreciation Society.

[endless psych]

Up North independent means Tory in disguise.

[corky]

He's being promoted by the Jury team, their about section reads like a Frank Gallagher drunken rant about he'd run the country.

http://www.juryteam.org/candidates.php

[pANDAS Radio]

Let us hope that these cuntrags don't manage to get this feckless moron elected. I notice they never mentioned his statement that the famous tackle was "nothing more than a glancing blow". In other words, he successfully helped a falling man to fall down slightly faster. If anything, Smeaton makes Scotland more of a target than it was before the attempted attacks - moreso if he gets elected.

[pANDAS Radio]

Giving courts the ability to sentence violent criminals to "army style" punishment and training courses

Good idea, take a violent man and train him how to more effective.

Preventing banks that are benefiting from government guarantees from using depositors' funds to support their own market trading

What? Isn't that how a bank actually works? Or do these people think that each bank puts all it's money in another bank and only invests the interest they get from that?

Limiting the number of British troops sent to Afghanistan to the average number sent by other NATO countries (relative to their size)

With no MPs, and Afghanistan winding down, that's hardly worth mentioning in their ideals. Note that they make no such statement about any future conflicts which may arise.

Setting up an English Parliament to decide matters that relate solely to England

No mention of independence in this, so presumably it will be paid for by taxes and constitute a parliament 2/3 the size of the current one.

Changing the voting system in the House of Commons to direct proportional representation

Common sense, except that votes in the commons are generally Yes/No - and all parties are involved anyway.

Limiting the amount the government can borrow each year to no more than 10% of its total expenditure

No facts, no figures. Just words.

Allowing state schools the option of becoming independent state funded charities outside the control of the local education authority if a majority of parents agree

Yeah, encourage schools to opt out of the system so that more money can be spent on the remaining ones. Then, when the opted out schools fail, its not the governments fault. Missing the fact that parents will want state funded education, meaning that more state schools will have to be built - costing more money.

Withdrawal of the UK from the European Union

Yeah, let us all buy a lifetime supply of KY Jelly so we can feel less pain as the European nations shaft us up the arse with their cock of cooperation? It's bad enough that such a small nation still uses a fluctuating, increasingly irrelevant currency.

We shall also legislate to enable national referendums to be called annually whenever requested by 5% of the electorate.

By that they actually mean "let's make politics so trivial that a Facebook group demanding Jedi becomes a fully recognized religion can succeed with less than 5,000,000 UK members".

Fuckin' halftards.

[XMachina]

Green candidate David Doherty secured 332 votes to come in seventh, followed Glasgow Airport attack hero John Smeaton, who got 258 votes.

a deposit losing 258 votes. That's almost as good as him being shown up for the fraud he is.