The diary of an idiot.

[Rio Ohki]

Scott learns to skateboard, or 'Shouldn't you little bastards be in school?' : Introduction. [May. 6th, 2008|03:11 pm]


I have decided that I am going to try and learn how to skateboard to a degree of general respectability and competancy.

I know what you're thinking, and to be honest, I can picture the looks on most of your faces. Yes, I am 23, and to all intents and purposes, a grown up. I graduated from a Good University, I have a full-time job, and I sporadically pay council tax.

All in all, I am too old to be doing this.

I am also too old to be playing in punk bands, going to laserquest, and dancing with glowsticks, but this has not stopped me. Thus the first step to be becoming the face of the next Tony Hawk game (Except Tony Hawk, obviously) is coming to terms with my own latent immaturity, and accepting comparisons between me, and Simon Pegg circa 'Spaced'.

To this end, I ventured to my local(ish) skate shop on my lunch break (I also walked around the park in the glorious sunshine) and enquired about being the noobiest of noobs, with the intent to skateboard like a sexy bitch. These were not my exact words, but the intent was there, as was my obvious and latent sex appeal.

The man behind the counter was very nice, and, mercifully, older than I was. He talked my through what skateboards to get and what to avoid (here's a hint, don't buy one for 15 quid in Asda, it will break, and so will you).

Thus tomorrow morning, probably with a stinking hangover, I am going back, being that I'm off all day, to purchase my first proper skateboard.

Scott learns to Skateboard : Day 1 [May. 7th, 2008|07:58 pm]

I have arms, you can probably tell that I have arms, being that I've managed to type this entry. I do realise that there are ways for those without arms to 'type', but after buying a 35 quid Skateboard, I can assume you, my call centre wages do not extend to a special microphone.

No, my arms are still attached, as are my legs, ears, and skin, which is a nice shade of red on my face and neck. I have survived my first day of Skateboarding with only a few bumps on my shins, and slightly skint wrists.

Actually, that's a lie, I also have an elated, shit-eating grin on my face. This is the sport of kings, and I started to take part around lunchtime on the 7th of May, 2008.

Our story starts with me buying my Skateboard, which I am sure is the best 35 pounds I have ever spent. It is a basic board, with a big skull on it, but it's generally ok. After this, I headed round to the skatepark in Kelvingrove Park, raring to go, excited like Christmas morning, except that if it was Christmas morning, it would probably be too cold to skateboard.

I spent an hour sitting at the side of the park, watching all the people who could actually skateboard, with a general feeling of fear and intimidation. After an hour, I decided to retreat to Park Circus, up the top of the park in order to gain some solitude, and hone my incredibly basic skills away from the eyes of people who might look at me, sprawled accross the ground and think 'what a tit'. I also got some pasta from Sainsburys, it was alright, and I ate it from again the side of the skate park, filled with fear, and pasta. This continued for two hours. that's right, I am a grown man of 23, and it took two hours to work up the courage to skateboard in front of other people. I'm just glad we didn't have to shower afterwards.

This is when the first problem (apart from staying on the thing, which rectified itself fairly quickly at a basic level) came up. The trucks, on my newly bought board, were way too tight, as one would expect.

To those with even less knowledge than me, the truck is like the axel, it connects the deck (the wooden bit you stand on) and the wheels (they're, um, wheels). In order to turn left or right, the truck must be just a bit loose in order to let the board, and therefore, you, lean left or right, at which point the skateboard sails in the direction like a swallow in a clear blus sky. Thankfully, one of the older and much more competant skaters at the aprk took pity on me, and lent me a spanner/widget.

After this, my confidence grew, and I really started to love it. I can't do any tricks, I can't carve round the bowl without falling off half way (think of a bowl, in the ground, to carve one is to go round the edges), and the famous 'ollie' is a lifetime away, but still, the feeling of simply travelling at speed, down and up things without looking like a total gimp was quite a rush.

The remainder of the day was spent either practicing, or in the park with mates.

anyway, I am probably being dragged to Gay night at Tunnel tonight, I shall report tomorrow on Day 2.

Happy Skating.
Scott.

So far, Scott can :

Go forward.
Turn left or right.
Go down into the bowl, and go round a bit of it.
Navigate pedestrians

[Draven]

Never too old to start.

I'm a year younger than you and about to start learning the guitar, just because my complete lack of musical talent is soul destroying.

Good luck, just don't buy a £200 skateboard and use it once or something!

Spaced ftw!

EDIT aahhh you automerged a post. Well done on not buying the obscenely expensive board!

[katinacooker]

gutted, i was gonna go to kelvingrove park today

[Hammer]

Nominated for an AN Blog.

Good luck with the skating. I gave up the dream years ago when I realised I just couldn't balance that well.

[katinacooker]

here btw, a little tip. dont make yr trucks too tight otherwise you wont get any pop.

i expect about day 14 you'll understand why

[Mwezzi]

Keep at it. You're not too old and, more importantly, you don't look too old, unlike DadCore who I have now vowed to watch out for in the future.

[Evapilotone]

I'm just reading for the LOLZ. I like Scotts writing.

[poprock]

Good write-up. Brings back memories … I think I was about 20 when I decided to learn to skate. It hurt for the first few days, but then my ankles seemed to figure out the rest on their own.

[Connor O'Bain]

good show doode

[Rio Ohki]

Thank you all for the kind feedback

Day two commences tomorrow

[MarkMono]

I still Abie cutting about the west end on his longboard and he must be in his 50's by now.

I wouldn't worry about the age thing. Unless you're wearing a suit.

[Rio Ohki]

Originally Posted by MarkMono

I wouldn't worry about the age thing. Unless you're wearing a suit.

I have a funeral to go to on tuesday, don't give me ideas.....

[Ghostsuit]

Good read that and I look forward to the rest of it. I've certainly forgotten how to skate, this makes me want to learn again .

[I'm Your God Now]

It's strange that I read this, because I haven't skated since I was about 16, but decided last week that i'm buying a new set up when I get paid. I'll come join ya someday

Good luck

[dil_em_ma]

I saw a dude skating today, and whilst my friends muttered about him being to cool to skate, i just thought it looked like such an easy method of transportation. I have a complete inability to stay on a skateboard though - i fall off within seconds.

Also, you weren't at tunnel tonight were you? Didn't spot you anyway if you were.