Fiction : Teen Spirit

*Charlie Parker* · 2nd November 2006, 11:14am

“Cobain maaaaaaaan,” Kevin air guitared wildly, lurching over Dave’s small bedroom with little care for the full cans of Tennents he was stepping on.

Over his can Dave frowned at his mate’s antics while Kevin’s girlfriend Sally giggled inanely. Dave was pissed off at her presence, Kev should have known better than to bring his stupid slag with him when Dave had asked him over for a few beers. They were probably hoping he would pass out so they could fuck in the toilet.

He drained his can and cracked open another, taking in the sight of Sally as she clapped along to her boyfriend’s verbal imitation of Cobain’s solo on Teen Spirit which had now been on eight times in a row.

“Yeeeeeaaaagh nyaaaaoow,” Kev shrieked, spinning on one foot trying to do his best James Dean Bradfield impression and only managing to look like a stupid prick.

Sally was a good looker Dave had to admit, slim but with a full figure and a pretty face but she over did the goth look with excess eye liner and dyed purple hair which wasn’t to Dave’s taste at all. She also insisted on ending nearly every sentence with,*“you know?” and the only film in existence she seemed to have seen was The Crow, the shit film Bruce Lee’s son got wasted on.

Plus she didn’t eat meat which to Dave meant tree hugging shite and that was a no no. He’d deliberately popped out and bought Pepperami bars to leave lying around when they had showed.

He got up from his bed and switched records, tossing Nevermind into a corner.

“We were listening to that you know,” Sally whined.

“Aye I was tearing shit up man,” Kev slurred, slumping down on the floor beside his girlfriend and reaching for a can.

“Fuck off,” grunted Dave, putting on Husker Du’s Candy Apple Grey.

“This is shit,” Sally moaned.

He gave her the finger and stumbled back onto his bed. This was not how he had envisioned his summer holiday at all, especially with the folks away and the house to himself. Sally and Kev started pawing each other and he closed his eyes and thirsted for something stronger than beer.

Getting up he made his way downstairs to the kitchen and fished out a bottle of gin and some glasses. Stomping back up he found Kev with his hand up Sally’s shirt and her giving off exaggerated noises that would have put the creakiest porn film to shame.

“Save that for some other fuckin place,” he grunted, unscrewing the bottle’s cap and pouring himself a healthy measure.

“Gin? I’m no drinkin gin,” Kev stated, removing his hand from Sally’s tits and getting more lager, “Gin’s fer poofs.”

“What about you?” he asked Sally.

“Don’t you have any mixers like lemonade? It’s nicer like that you know?” she replied.

“No,” he said, pouring her some, “feel free to help yourself now.”

She gave him a dirty look, draining the glass and helping herself to another. There was a long silence filled only by Husker Du’s Dead Set On Destruction then Sally spoke up.

“So Dave, are you like, gay, you know?”

“What the fuck?” he exclaimed.

She waved her hand lazily in the air.

“You live with your folks y’know and I’ve never seen you with a girl …” she started.

“And what, because I drink fuckin’ gin?” he spat.

Sally shrugged and Kevin laughed.

“It’s ok in this day and age you know? It’s an open, alternative world,” she smiled.

Dave twitched; the glass broke in his fist.

“You fuckin bitch. You’ve known me what? Two months? Just since you started fucking Kev! What the fuck do you know?” Dave shrieked.

“I think ye hit a raw nerve there Sally,” Kev giggled.

Sally and Kevin both laughed.

Dave stormed out down to the kitchen and paced the small room trying to control his blazing rage. Fishing out his small bag of coke he kept wrapped up in his wallet he cut two lines and did them off the table top, relishing the cool drip at the back of his throat. Half streams of ideas whizzed around inside his head, colliding with the cocaine jolt and burned into a plan. He allowed himself a smile and fished out a bottle of vodka out of the cupboard and went back upstairs.

He returned to the room with a teeth grinding grin, all apologies and waving the vodka around.

Soon he was splashing it into glasses and watching them guzzle it down like water, chasing it with beer and occasionally some gin. He even allowed Teen Spirit on for another marathon run and stayed silent when Sally started a seemingly endless lecture on how The Crow was a celluloid metaphor for suppressed alternative youths everywhere. Kev smiled and nodded like the doting boyfriend he was, his eyes fixed firmly on her chest whilst Dave sipped his gin and waited.

After near draining the vodka bottle he got his chance, Sally scurrying off green faced into the bathroom, leaving Kev mumbling blind drunk on the floor. Dave rose and followed her in the hallway, listening to her retching in the toilet. Confident she wouldn’t be out anytime soon, he paced for a small time then strode back into the room laughing loudly.

“What’s the big fuckin’ joke?” Kev mumbled.

Dave bent over his friend and gripped his crotch, leering.

“I told Sally there was one way to prove I wasn’t gay,” he grinned.

“Eh?” Kev looked up at Dave in drunken confusion and Dave just laughed, winking.

Dave’s face began to blossom with a mixture of outage and blind horror.

“She fucked you?” he exclaimed.

“Nah,” Dave replied, “she wasn’t up for it so she gave me a blowjob instead. Woohoo! A wee bit of your usual medicine went down ok with me! Think I can get another go?”

Dave did a spin around the room as Kev staggered to his feet, aiming a punch at his friend’s face. Dave avoided it easily, lightly slapping Kev’s right cheek in response.

“I don’t believe you!” Kev screamed, turning and bolting from the room towards the bathroom where he found Sally wiping her mouth with a piece of toilet paper.

She offered him a weak smile and Kev just screamed in raw rage grabbing her by the neck and slamming her head into the tiled wall. Dave watched his friend slam and kick her head to red ruin, tears streaming down his face and Dave giggled, backing out of the toilet to the top of the hallway stairs.

Giggling, Dave mentally ran through his story of how he had been badly injured trying to stop his friend’s drunken rampage. Making sure everything was in place, Dave threw himself down the stairs.