Awright bawbags - Page 2

darth_haggis · 3rd May 2007, 3:21pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by RCOSD

Gee us a shout, i fancy it

Danny aint that gaggin' for it, hoofter.

Awright · 3rd May 2007, 11:12pm

I'm sure I could manage this now. Ma toe is heeling up well and isn't so sore now so to get used to it, i'd like to play a few games.

But now that the fitba season is coming to a close, games on a Saturday would fill the void left by the lack of summer football to watch.

Historic Bongo · 3rd May 2007, 11:21pm

i could do it aswel...possibly...depending on when my games are

Space Monkey · 4th May 2007, 8:35am

Im up for a wee run about.

Watty · 4th May 2007, 8:56am

Quote:

Every five-a-side mob contains a selected motley crew ranging from playboys to psychos. Here are a few of various types of players no matter where you play you always seem to come across:

The Fog Horn: Player who as his playing ability diminishes during the game he gets louder, standing in the spot on the pitch berating his other team who are not carrying out marking/defending/running that he should be doing.

High Plains Drifter: the player who drifts up the field and then doesn't come back down to defend, possibly due to altitude sickness, obviously not due to laziness.

Fud : Footballer (who's) Under-Developed; Player who has only the ability to do one or two things well, such as running down the park and shooting, the other sociable aspects of the game such as passing, taking a turn in goal are beyond them. Key sign: Inability to remember the names of his fellow players (especially if he's been playing with the same players for years)

The Dog: Like his canine namesake, faithfully turns up all the time, enthusiastic, loved by everyone, but no use at football. In fact if a real dog turned up with a fiver he would get a game before the 'The Dog'.

Vital to the on going success of the game, because he's guaranteed to turn up week after week. Name derived from final selection in any schoolboy football game, when faced with the choice of the fat kid or the dog. 'We'll take the dog...'

The Boomerang: Similar but opposite to 'The Dog'. This is an unloved player. Who, no matter what you do comes back week after week after fecking week.

Easy-Jet Keeper: Like the Airline, when taking his turn in goals it's a quick turnaround, 'is it my turn?' whack/side foot/trumble/fumble (delete as appropriate)... Who's turn is it now?' Part of the problem here is that like an Easyjet destination the Easyjet keeper is no-where near where he should be, i.e., the goal.

The Man's Man. Exponent of the 'man's game'. If in doubt (as in all the time) go in HARD! Excuses heard while waiting for the ambulance to gather your shattered limbs, '...it's mans game,' '...it's a contact sport,' '...I got a touch on the ball,' and most damming of all, '...it was a 50-50 ball!' Usually has a flash car and small c**k.

La Liga: Usually a last minute call up. A player who, like a Spanish footballer in a Sunday league game complete outclasses everyone. He runs riot, scoring goals for fun, waltzing at ease up and down the park with the ball at his feet. Because he make the opposition and more importantly his own team look less than ordinary, he never gets asked back.

The Enthusiast: Loves the game, is playing because it fun, win or lose it's only a game! HATED by everyone!

If on losing team his good natured sporting banter is annoying and a sign to his team-mates he's not taking it seriously. If on the winning team his good natured sporting banter is annoying and patronizing to the losing side. Never gets asked back, (No time for part timers..).

Velcro - The ball sticks to this player. He can walk through the defence like a hot knife. But unfortunately such is his love affair with the ball he doesn't want to give it to anybody else. Seldom passes, seldom shoots.

Elsie - LC - Loose Cannon. Player who is a part time tree dweller. As soon as the ball passes the half way line he's going to have a shot. And as the name suggests it could go anywhere! Though, usually nowhere near the goal, more often than not, out of the park and into those branches. 'You put it there! You go and get it!'

Banker: The footballing ability of this individual is not important just his ability to ensure that the money is collected, the pitch paid for, and that ten players turn up. Three ways into this job, start the game, forcibly take over, or in most cases draw the short straw. Only one way to lose it, p!ss everyone off.

Ball Sack: This is where you have a team within a team. Usually two players who decide that they don't need anybody else in their team. Cue lots of silky interlinking play and three brassed off players. Seems slightly homo-erotic to outsiders. The ball sack will engineer team selection so that Surprise! Surprise! They are on the same team. Worse combination: two boomerangs in a ball sack

Think we could tie in a couple of these?

Zippy · 4th May 2007, 10:07am

Brian Revol is well Velcro!

Timmy · 4th May 2007, 10:56am

I'm shite... but if ye needs numbers, i'll play..

could do with playing a bit more (will make me better, means i can't get slagged when i tell cunts what their doing wrong, and i can't do it)

So i can be "the dog"

darth_haggis · 4th May 2007, 12:00pm

The Fog Horn: Danny “naw ma fault/naw my man/it was …fault”

High Plains Drifter: the player who drifts up the field and then doesn't come back down to defend, possibly due to altitude sickness, obviously not due to laziness.

Fud : Footballer (who's) Under-Developed; Louise

The Dog: Ross

The Boomerang: Andy Blip

Easy-Jet Keeper: Tam

The Man's Man. Tony

La Liga:

The Enthusiast: Ryan

Velcro - Revooooooooooooooooooooool.

Elsie - LC - Loose Cannon. Watty

Banker: MCCOY hahaha

Ball Sack: Lee

I think we all have a bit of one in us - much like Danny's spunk.