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Thread: Darwin Awards for idiocy 2006

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    Darwin Awards for idiocy 2006


    2006 Darwin Awards

    And the candidates this year are.............
    MICHIGAN...
    In Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys.


    CALIFORNIA...
    A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he ran," -- accidentally jogged off a 100-foot-high cliff on his daily run.


    NORTH CAROLINA
    ...
    Buxton, NC: A man died on a beach when an 8-foot-deep hole he had dug into the sand caved in as he sat inside it. Beach-goers said Daniel Jones, 21, dug the hole for fun, or protection from the wind, and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom Thursday afternoon when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand.

    People on the beach on the outer banks, used their hands and shovels, trying to claw their way to Jones, a resident of Woodbridge, VA, but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him while about 200 people looked on. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.


    CALIFORNIA...
    Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc, CA, as he fell face-first through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth(to keep his hands free) rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.


    DELAWARE...
    Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed in Selbyvill, Del, as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.


    HONOURABLE MENTION:

    NEW JERSEY...
    Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover township, NJ, and his wife Bonnie was also injured, when a quarter-stick of dynamite blew up in their car. While driving around 2 AM, the bored couple lit the dynamite and tried to toss it out the window to see what would happen, but apparently failed to notice the window was closed.

    RUNNER UP:

    WASHINGTON...
    TACOMA, WA.........Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from the Tacoma Narrows Bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM.

    Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay nearby. One end of the cable was secured around Bingham's leg and the other end was tied to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy river water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. "All I can say" said Bingham, "is that God was watching out for me on that night. There's just no other explanation for it."

    Bingham's foot was never located.

    AND THE WINNER: FROM G-E-R-M-A-N-Y is....
    Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt (Paderborn, Germany) fed his constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally let it fly, and suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of poop!

    Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded on him. "The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground, where he struck his head on a rock and lay unconscious as the elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on top of him" said flabbergasted Paderborn police detective Erik Dern. "With no one there to help him, he lay under all that dung for at least an hour before a watchman came along, and during that time he suffocated."
    Apologies if somones already done it this year. My personal favourite is Sylvester from Delaware.

    Course these may all be made up....
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  2. #2
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    Re: Darwin Awards for idiocy 2006

    You may mock, but his face would've been pretty red had he refused the bet. As it was I suppose his face was probably red anyway. And pulpy. Still, least his young children can grow up proud of their brave and honourable father.
    Without evil there can be no good, so it must be good to be evil sometimes.
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    Re: Darwin Awards for idiocy 2006

    Death by being shat on...


    Harsh.
    A - Always
    A - Attention
    B - Be
    I - Interest
    C - Closing
    D - Decision

    A - Action

  4. #4
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    Re: Darwin Awards for idiocy 2006

    these all bring up rather strange mental visions...

  5. #5
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    Re: Darwin Awards for idiocy 2006

    These just get better every year.
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    Re: Darwin Awards for idiocy 2006

    I giggled. Was a guy called darwin that used to post.



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    Re: Darwin Awards for idiocy 2006

    poor zoo keeper

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    Re: Darwin Awards for idiocy 2006

    Quote Originally Posted by Puppy View Post
    poor zoo keeper
    The joke's right there, everyone can see it.

  9. #9
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    Re: Darwin Awards for idiocy 2006

    Quote Originally Posted by GreatKingRat View Post
    The joke's right there, everyone can see it.
    I don't get it

    Ah, now I see, it's a wee shame. Aye, not a pleasant death.
    Last edited by hotblonde; 28th December 2006 at 3:20pm.
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    Re: Darwin Awards for idiocy 2006

    Quote Originally Posted by hotblonde View Post
    I don't get it

    Ah, now I see, it's a wee shame. Aye, not a pleasant death.
    Apart from death by coitus is there any pleasant way to go awa the Crow Road?
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    Re: Darwin Awards for idiocy 2006

    Oh I think in your sleep would be very pleasant...away to baw baw land, hello firey depths of hell.
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    Re: Darwin Awards for idiocy 2006

    Quote Originally Posted by endless psych View Post
    Apart from death by coitus is there any pleasant way to go awa the Crow Road?
    Suicide sandwich (I had one in a dream last night).
    Without evil there can be no good, so it must be good to be evil sometimes.
    Quote Originally Posted by Dario
    It's not easy being greasy, you know.

  13. #13
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    Re: Darwin Awards for idiocy 2006

    Quote Originally Posted by djbarry View Post
    Oh I think in your sleep would be very pleasant...away to baw baw land, hello firey depths of hell.
    I think dying in your sleep is probably more boring then anything else - you don't even get any last words...

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    Re: Darwin Awards for idiocy 2006

    Quote Originally Posted by endless psych View Post
    I think dying in your sleep is probably more boring then anything else - you don't even get any last words...



    The mechanics of such a thing intrigue me...
    You do get 'last words'. Just not especial, prepared wisdom or humour.
    Without evil there can be no good, so it must be good to be evil sometimes.
    Quote Originally Posted by Dario
    It's not easy being greasy, you know.

  15. #15
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    Re: Darwin Awards for idiocy 2006

    Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed in Selbyvill, Del, as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.
    Since you don't put the whole gun in your mouth when you do that, just the last couple of inches, I wonder if it would have counted if he'd put the barrel of the gun sideways through his partially open mouth, and pulled the trigger? It would have been just as much "in his mouth" as the way he chose.

    He'll know to try that next time, I expect.

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