Bands' Riders

[Largest of Als]

Originally Posted by AWESOMEUS MAXIMUS

Know of a band who wanted some sniff and some whores before.
Stealing other bands rider stuff is where it's at.
A real mans rider.

Over the years I was a promoter, I got asked for all kinds of weird stuff.. lots of it very illegal.

Stealing another bands rider stuff is one sure fire way to get you kicked off the tour.. it's just plain disrespectful.



Al

[GreatKingRat]

Originally Posted by Semprini

Demand to be introduced by Judge Floro.

Odds on him posting in this thread soon.

[m0nkeymafia]

I remember once at the catty, I think it was a Kelvin show, one band requested a midget in a bikini like they'd done at every show on the tour. I'm guessing the catty show is the one night that they actually got it. It wasn't a pretty sight.

[Largest of Als]

Originally Posted by m0nkeymafia

I remember once at the catty, I think it was a Kelvin show, one band requested a midget in a bikini like they'd done at every show on the tour. I'm guessing the catty show is the one night that they actually got it. It wasn't a pretty sight.

Aye, well it's easy when you've got Dec's phone number


Al

[m0nkeymafia]

Originally Posted by Largest of Als

Aye, well it's easy when you've got Dec's phone number


Al

Haha

I'm sure you can guess who the other midget would be if it was a Kelvin show

[AWESOMEUS MAXIMUS]

Originally Posted by Largest of Als

Over the years I was a promoter, I got asked for all kinds of weird stuff.. lots of it very illegal.

Stealing another bands rider stuff is one sure fire way to get you kicked off the tour.. it's just plain disrespectful.



Al

Luckily I care not about being "kicked off" a billy big time tour - Anytime we've been on tour it's been with bands we are friends with and generally don't "demand" riders anyway, but anything we are given is always shared amoungst us, i.e. no need or want to steal.
Bit of covert op liberating food/beer from some asshole touring bands rules though.

[Largest of Als]

Originally Posted by AWESOMEUS MAXIMUS

Bit of covert op liberating food/beer from some asshole touring bands rules though.

Ah, you'll be the asshole local support band then.....




Al

[JZY]

i prob shouldnt be posting this but fuck it. This the legit copy of the rider for Mr.scruff when i put him on last year, no joke. its a fucking clownshoe of a rider, i actually had to get all this shit!

MR SCRUFF TEA SHOP RIDER
Please provide the following for Mr Scruff’s Tea Shop to arrive with the hospitality rider (UPON ARRIVAL AT THE VENUE). All products should be organic and fair trade. The cost for tea shop goods will be covered by Mr Scruff’s management on presentation of a receipt:

For capacity 500-1000
1 (one) Bag of Apples
1 (one) Bag of Pears
1 (one) Bag of easy peel oranges
10 (Ten) Pints of Semi-Skimmed Milk
1 (one) Carton of Soya Milk (So Good)

HOSPITALITY RIDER

Mr Scruff Rider
For the promoter
MR SCRUFF HOSPITALITY RIDER

Please supply the following items to the Artist’s dressing room, for the sole use of the Artist and their touring party, UPON ARRIVAL at the venue. Preferably, the following should be local, fair-trade and organic. NO NESTLE PRODUCTS PLEASE WHATSOEVER NESTLE ARE BAD:

Tea and coffee/espresso making facilities, with inexhaustible supply of good quality fair-trade coffee (not granulated), tea, herbal tea, sugar, milk, soya milk (sweetened Provamel please), lemon and honey.

A small selection of breakfast cereals and milk (eg. Organic Muesli/Oat Cereals/Cornflakes/Crunchy Nut Cornflakes) NO TESCO / ASDA / MORRISONS OWNBRANDS
2 (two) Bags of teacakes.
1 (one) Loaf of Granary bread.
1 (one) Block of good quality butter.
Small selection of toast toppings (eg. Jam/peanut butter/marmite).
1 (one) Toaster.

24 (one case) Large Cans or bottles (33cl) of Premium Beer (e.g. Becks/Red Stripe/Leffe/San Miguel/Nastro Azuro – NO STELLA/BUDWEISER)
3 (three) 75cl Bottles of good quality wine (2 red, 1 white) (Chilean Merlot/Beaujolais/Picpoul de Pinet/Voignier/Gevurztraminer or similar)
4 (four) Cans of Guinness
1 (one) 70cl Bottle of Jack Daniels
1 (one) 70cl Bottle of good quality cognac/brandy, suitable for pimps etc.
1 (one) 70cl Bottle of Gin (Bombay Sapphire or Tanquery)
24 (1 case) 500ml Bottles of water (small)
12 (twelve) Cans of Coke
4 (four) Cartons of fresh organic vegetable juice
4 (four) Bottles of tonic water
6 (six) Organic Smoothies (assorted fruit flavours)
4 (four) Litres of 100% fresh fruit juice
(Not from Concentrate - orange/grapefruit/cranberry/apple etc)
8 (eight) Bottles of Real Ale (e.g. Bombadier/Waggle Dance/Sam Smiths – preferably local microbrewery ale)
4 (four) Bottles of Ginger Beer (D&G)

- A selection of lemons and limes. All drinks should be on ice and re-iced as needed.
- Assortment of quality cooked locally baked, ready to eat, vegetarian and meat pies (no Ginsters or Gregg’s please!).
- Selection of Fruit (bananas, apples, oranges, mangoes, grapes etc).
- Large selection of salad products/local deli goods eg. Houmous, pitta bread, potato salad, mixed salad, buckwheat salad, stuffed vine leaves, avocados, sun blushed tomatoes, olives, cheeses, bread, etc.
- Salad dressing, mayonnaise.
- Crisps and nibbles including a selection of nuts (Cashew/Mixed etc), tortilla chips & salsa.
- Small selection of sweets and chocolate (to include fair-trade organic dark chocolate).
- Please don’t forget plastic glasses, cups, spoons, forks, knives, plates, bowls, napkins, bottle opener and corkscrew.

8 (eight) clean dry towels & shower gel or soap
1 (one) roll of black gaffer tape
1 (one) roll of white gaffer tape
1 (one) bag of large, strong cable ties


PLEASE PROVIDE A HOT MEAL FOR MINIMUM 8 (EIGHT) PEOPLE, INCLUDING 3 X VEGETARIAN & 1 ADAMANT MEAT EATER (NO FAST FOOD PLEASE), OR A BUY-OUT FOR MINIMUM 8 (EIGHT) PEOPLE (MINIMUM £15.00 PER HEAD). PLEASE CONFIRM NUMBERS FOR BUY-OUT.

The following items are not necessary, however if you manage to find any of them, you will receive 1 (one) round of applause per item from the Scruff crew:

1 (one) Donkey
1 (one) Cloud Catcher
1 (one) Chaffinch
1 (one) Mr Scruff lookalike
1 (one) Fully intact dinosaur skeleton
1 (one) Giant Inflatable Sandwich (must be edible)
1 (one) Set of chess pieces, hand carved from Peruvian cucumber
1 (one) Moon (No body parts please)
1 (one) Remote controlled cement mixer
1 (one) Talking cat (no toys please, or ladies called Cat/Kat)
1 (one) Cattle grid at the entrance to the club, to prevent stiletto wear

[AWESOMEUS MAXIMUS]

Originally Posted by Largest of Als

Ah, you'll be the asshole local support band then.....




Al

...depends, what degree of asshole-ness is presented, but it has been known

Generally, theres never any problems - only play for promoters we have done so before and know what the deal is, so generally get on with everyone and everything.

A bad case of the "assholes" was when a band is presented with sandwiches and a vegan meal (which they asked for) they then refuse to eat it and demand a buy out (may or may not have been same band asking for coke & hot towels...).

JZY - that's a belter mate!
At least you didn't have to provide 5 pairs of clean socks, a life-size cut out of gwen stefani & 4 bottles of jack d for a band ( I know someone that got asked too! )

[JZY]

Originally Posted by AWESOMEUS MAXIMUS

JZY - that's a belter mate!
At least you didn't have to provide 5 pairs of clean socks, a life-size cut out of gwen stefani & 4 bottles of jack d for a band ( I know someone that got asked too! )

woulda been cheaper! the above list cost me over £250!

[AWESOMEUS MAXIMUS]

Here that's fucking cheap considering what's on it.
How does he get away with that? Take it he sold the place out?
Absolutely no way a crew of 8 people can eat a hot meal coupled with every other fucking thing on there in under like 10 hours (max) that they'll be at the venue for.

[Bunnylingus]

Im still laughing at 'suitable for pimps'.

Also, NESTLE ARE BAD.

[AWESOMEUS MAXIMUS]

yup.

Fuck Mr Scruff.
Trouser Jazz was dreadful anyway.

[Bunnylingus]

It just reads as 'we're cool, but get us EXACTLY WHAT WE WANT OR ELSE.'

Pile of wank.

[Kenny Everett]

The key is to make friends with the catering crew as soon as you get to an event. I've lost count of the amount of three course dinners that I've managed to liberate with a little bit of sweet talking