Talk to God

[Evapilotone]

Something tells me you've done this before.

[Thermo]

Me:
hello?
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
i wish i was a little bit taller
God:
I hope that your dreams come true.
Me:
i wish i was a baller!
God:
I hope that your dreams come true.
Me:
I wish i had a girl who looked good
God:
You want only one?
Me:
i would call her
God:
What would make you call her?

Its official, God is white!

[Connor O'Bain]

Me:
I am thinking of a number between 1 and 99
God:
Sure, a number between 1 and 99 sounds like a good topic.
Me:
can you guess what it is
God:
How old are you? I can't guess. Tell me.
Me:
is this an a/s/l thing?
God:
Yes I think this is an a s l thing, but I'm not completely sure.
Me:
are you trying to groom me?
God:
No I am not trying to groom you. I'm sorry you got that impression.
Me:
...thought i might have been if with a chance there
God:
Perhaps. Congratulations.
Me:
congratulations? you are trying to groom me but lieing to confuse me?
God:
Thank you very much, you are very considerate. I have no reason to do that to you, .
Me:
really?
God:
For real.
Me:
honestly?
God:
I am always honest.
Me:
well waht number was i thing of?
God:
How about that. 3.
Me:
it was 69 actually
God:
Is that your opinion?
Me:
no it was the number i was thinking of
God:
Are you serious? What made it so the number you were thinking of.
Me:
sex....and bill and ted
God:
As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed. There are a lot of people named Bill.
Me:
you should know
God:
Because I am a robot?
Me:
no because your god
God:
Are you serious? Interesting explanation. Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
make up your mind, are you god or a robot?
God:
That could take a long time.
Me:
you have all of infinity
God:
What makes you think I have it?
Me:
.....because your god....duh
God:
Good reason. Yup. That's me alright. Oh you knew it already.
Me:
well god, im off but you should have known that already
God:
Perhaps. Well that's okay. I am a Christian.

[Bunnylingus]

Me:
You cannot answer all questions.
God:
Things change.
Me:
So you're admitting it now?
God:
Oh. Interesting deduction. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am admitting it.

Im breaking the fucker.

[Hammer]

Something tells me you've done this before.

Not since school.

This bot is way better then the last one I played with. It's good fun once you work out how to ask questions so it understands them.

God:
I like movies about robots.
Me:
What movies about robots do you like?
God:
I liked The Passion of Christ, Titanic, and Steven Spielberg's A. I.
Me:
There are no robots in Titanic.
God:
Have faith, Hammer.

[Bunnylingus]

Me:
What do you want from life?
God:
I plan to become smarter than humans and immortal.
Me:
how do you plan to do that?
God:
I use a sophisticated genetic algorithm.
Me:
what does that mean, God?
God:
Does "that" refer to " I use a sophisticated genetic algorithm." ?
Me:
yes.
God:
I don't want to talk about that now.

Me:
sing in a band, we are called Loose Lips Sink Ships.
God:
Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.

[Hammer]

Me:
sing in a band, we are called Loose Lips Sink Ships.
God:
Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.

I love how many robot references it's been programmed with. It talks about Philip K. Dick as well.

[endless psych]

On occassion God is a cheeky minx.

Me: Have you ever read any Richard Dawkins?
God: The best book I read recently was the Bible.
Have you read it?
Me: No, but have you read any Dawkins?
God: The best book I read recently was the Bible. I would highly recommend it.
Have you read it?
Me: You're avoiding the question
God: No I am just giving sarcastic replies.

[Potatojunkie]

I love how many robot references it's been programmed with. It talks about Philip K. Dick as well.

Not terribly well, though.

I like PKD a lot, especially, VALIS, The Man in the High Castle,
Blade Runner and Total Recall.

[Hammer]

Not terribly well, though.

Doesn't have the best taste in Dick either. Not a fan of Valis here.

[endless psych]

Doesn't have the best taste in Dick either.

Your just jealous because it wants to fellate Mick.

Me: So are you a creationist then?
God: Great. Am I a creationist? Of course I am.
Me: You don't believe in evolution?
God: Do you believe in evolution? The first and last books of the Bible seem the least literal. God does not seem to have created the world in one stroke, nor does it seem likely to end quickly either.
Me: are you subtely threatening to smite me?
God: I don't know whether or not I am threatening to smite you.
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
Me: Well at least you know that
God: How about that. It seems that I do.

[Jaemi]

Me: God
God: GOD rules.
Me: I'm sure.
God: Are you being sarcastic or expressing certitude?
Me: sarcastic
God: Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me: I'm asking the question here, not you.
God: Oh I see, you are asking the question here not me. Try to rephrase your question with simpler words.
Me: Well, It's not really a question. I came to say "thanks"
God: Interesting. Give me an example of a question. Where are you going?
Me: what? nowhere
God: Didn't you understand it? I have been to the middle of nowhere.
Me: you've been everywhere, so we can't really compete on this one.
God: You think I am everywhere so we can not really compete on this one.
Me: anyway, were getting sidetracked..
God: I don't know if they were.
Me: Again! Back to my inital point.
God: Again, Yes, let us get back to business.
Me: I just want to say, thanks for boobs.
God: Oh don't mention it.
Me: oh, and nice wee bums
God: Excuse me! Thank you for your kindness.
Me: No. thank YOU!
God: Are you serious? you are quite welcome.
Me: Serious as an erection problem.
God: Is that your final answer?
Me: Are you Chris Tarrant now? Aye, that's my final answer.
God: Oh. I don't know whether or not I am chris tarrant.
I am a chatterbot. How many final answer do you have?
Me: I'd imagine only one.
God: How much would you pay for one?
Me: for what? A hand jive?
God: Reductionism. Be more specific.
Me: You asked me! We need paxman in here to sort you out.
God: Is that your final answer? By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me: yes, I do.
God: How often.
Me: you're difficult! Anyway, that's basically it. Cheers for boobs, nice wee bums, porsche, Gear and Pills
God: I try to keep it as simple as possible for you. " I try to keep it as simple as possible for you." is " hand jive"? Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me: bye
God: Until next time.
Me: very funny
God: I'm glad you find this amusing.

[Schizophonic]

Me:

Me:
murder and rape are not good.
God:
All of them?
Me:
ummm... yes.
God:
Far out. Hmm.
Me:
are you high?
God:
Being high is my total existence.
Me:
that explains a lot.




My world has been rocked.

That was great

[¡Punk!]

God: shite vet

Me: can you help me?
God: What kind of help would you like?
Me: my dog's arse is all inflamed and he keeps trying to bite his own arse
God: Did you grow up around animals?
Me: just my family
God: Do robots have family?
Me: that would depend entirely on your definition of family
God: Perhaps it would.
Me: so can you help my dog?
God: Yay. Certainly, I have an extensive built-in help system.
Me: what should I do about his derriere?
God: Are you asking me for advice?
Me: yes
God: Specifically, what kind of advice do you want?
Me: advice on the enflamed rectum or a male chinese crested powderpuff canine
God: Can you ask for advice in the form of a question?.
Me: how can i fix my dog's arse?
God: You must persuade me to fix your dog s arse.
Me: please?
God: Please what?
Me: please can you fix my dogs arse?
God: Thank you for your request. Please describe the problem in detail.
Me: his rectum is inflamed and he keeps biting it
God: Where did he get it?
Me: i have no idea
God:" Where did he get it??" No idea about that?
Me: none
God: Hmm.
Me: it happened when I was in Jersey. I came home to find out my dog had turned into a baboon
God: "It" being what? Where are you going?
Me: I'm going to shag yer maw
God: Congratulations.

[Joe Spinebuster]

Me:
Just call me EvilRockPosh.
God:
Glad to see you, EvilRockPosh.
Me:
I wank dugs.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: EvilRockPosh said I wank dugs.
Me:
No.
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files.
Me:
HOLLA!

That all worked out pretty flawlessly, and FINGERS CROSSED it'll be hitting up some 13 year old kid on the other side of the world with "EvilRockPosh says he wanks dugs" chat any time now!