Mamba Marketing - Page 5

AMillionScreams · 18th December 2007, 5:03pm

This thread is a little biased, lets look at some of the "genuine" responses from real people working for Mamba...cough*bullshit*cough...taken from their website...

I had just left University . . .
“After my graduation I searched everywhere for jobs and positions that would be challenging and offer the chance for progression. After successfully coming through the interview process I could not believe the opportunity I had to progress and the strength and support of the training programme. It was such a fun, energetic and progressive environment that I
very quickly decided to stay and build my future here.”

I was on my gap year, travelling on a work visa . . .
“I needed something that would pay the bills while I was travelling. I initially answered the advert purely for something to tide me over for a couple of months. However I soon found myself swept along with the progress that I was making and now 12 months later, I am about to open a Sales & Marketing Office of my own. It is an incredible opportunity.”

I had left school early with only a couple of qualifications . . .
“I became increasingly frustrated and disillusioned after being turned down for so many jobs because of my lack of qualifications. I was so pleased when I was accepted on to the Personal Development Programme and was re-assured that I would receive all the product specific and general business training I would need to succeed. I now have confidence in my own ability and can see a real future developing for myself.”

I was frustrated in my previous job . . .
“I had gone as high as I could in my previous job. No matter what else I did there were no promotional opportunities. I needed a fresh challenge and a new beginning, something that would give me more control over my progress and allow me to increase my earnings and status to a level I aspired to. This opportunity has given me all this and more – I work hard, gain excellent rewards for my efforts and have plenty of scope to learn, take on more responsibility and develop my commercial and people skills.”

**djtoast** · 18th December 2007, 5:07pm

That actually sounds pretty good, where do I sign up?

Jaemi · 18th December 2007, 5:20pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by AMillionScreams

This thread is a little biased, lets look at some of the "genuine" responses from real people working for Mamba...cough*bullshit*cough...taken from their website...

I had just left University . . .
“After my graduation I searched everywhere for jobs and positions that would be challenging and offer the chance for progression. After successfully coming through the interview process I could not believe the opportunity I had to progress and the strength and support of the training programme. It was such a fun, energetic and progressive environment that I
very quickly decided to stay and build my future here.”

I was on my gap year, travelling on a work visa . . .
“I needed something that would pay the bills while I was travelling. I initially answered the advert purely for something to tide me over for a couple of months. However I soon found myself swept along with the progress that I was making and now 12 months later, I am about to open a Sales & Marketing Office of my own. It is an incredible opportunity.”

I had left school early with only a couple of qualifications . . .
“I became increasingly frustrated and disillusioned after being turned down for so many jobs because of my lack of qualifications. I was so pleased when I was accepted on to the Personal Development Programme and was re-assured that I would receive all the product specific and general business training I would need to succeed. I now have confidence in my own ability and can see a real future developing for myself.”

I was frustrated in my previous job . . .
“I had gone as high as I could in my previous job. No matter what else I did there were no promotional opportunities. I needed a fresh challenge and a new beginning, something that would give me more control over my progress and allow me to increase my earnings and status to a level I aspired to. This opportunity has given me all this and more – I work hard, gain excellent rewards for my efforts and have plenty of scope to learn, take on more responsibility and develop my commercial and people skills.”

That's handy, pretty much every base covered there...

Tacky · 19th December 2007, 10:04am

Still - its chapping doors seling shit innit?

mini_dez · 19th December 2007, 10:09am

Nah, it's a unique marketing opportunity!

JennyPiccolo · 19th December 2007, 10:18am

Quote:

Originally Posted by Metalcherry

the money seemed great - the two i was with were coming out with £300 a week but i think you would need utter ballz to do something like that!

Working in a warehouse will pay that, and it's safe and people aren't rude to you.

Tacky · 19th December 2007, 10:27am

Quote:

Originally Posted by mini_dez

Nah, it's a unique marketing opportunity!

Oh i forget - its a dynamic form of product promotion.

mini_dez · 19th December 2007, 10:53am

now you're one of us get it!

Exit_W0unds · 19th December 2007, 5:18pm

I want to go to one of theese interviews now just for shits and giggles and maybe with a hidden audio visual recording device

**djtoast** · 19th December 2007, 6:12pm

I was thinking that... go along to the interviews, sit through it all and then just say "to be honest I just came here to waste your time cos I heard you're cunts."

Anyone up for it?

Exit_W0unds · 19th December 2007, 6:14pm

*puts hand up*

Semprini · 19th December 2007, 6:31pm

If we really wanted to be arseholes, go to the interview, and let slip you have your own car. Sales-monkeys think "Woohoo, transport. Now we can go further afield and get all the opportunities that the ones stuck in Glasgow won't be able to get". Sadly for them, what you're thinking is "I can't wait to see the look on their faces when I bolt back to the car and drive off, leaving them 30 miles from the office"

Addy · 23rd December 2007, 9:51pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by djtoast

I was thinking that... go along to the interviews, sit through it all and then just say "to be honest I just came here to waste your time cos I heard you're cunts."

Anyone up for it?

I'd genuinely love to see that. A print out of this thread would be required, obviously.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Semprini

If we really wanted to be arseholes, go to the interview, and let slip you have your own car. Sales-monkeys think "Woohoo, transport. Now we can go further afield and get all the opportunities that the ones stuck in Glasgow won't be able to get". Sadly for them, what you're thinking is "I can't wait to see the look on their faces when I bolt back to the car and drive off, leaving them 30 miles from the office"

I love this thread.

Amelia · 21st January 2008, 3:38pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by AMillionScreams

This thread is a little biased, lets look at some of the "genuine" responses from real people working for Mamba...cough*bullshit*cough...taken from their website...

I had just left University . . .
“After my graduation I searched everywhere for jobs and positions that would be challenging and offer the chance for progression. After successfully coming through the interview process I could not believe the opportunity I had to progress and the strength and support of the training programme. It was such a fun, energetic and progressive environment that I
very quickly decided to stay and build my future here.”

I was on my gap year, travelling on a work visa . . .
“I needed something that would pay the bills while I was travelling. I initially answered the advert purely for something to tide me over for a couple of months. However I soon found myself swept along with the progress that I was making and now 12 months later, I am about to open a Sales & Marketing Office of my own. It is an incredible opportunity.”

I had left school early with only a couple of qualifications . . .
“I became increasingly frustrated and disillusioned after being turned down for so many jobs because of my lack of qualifications. I was so pleased when I was accepted on to the Personal Development Programme and was re-assured that I would receive all the product specific and general business training I would need to succeed. I now have confidence in my own ability and can see a real future developing for myself.”

I was frustrated in my previous job . . .
“I had gone as high as I could in my previous job. No matter what else I did there were no promotional opportunities. I needed a fresh challenge and a new beginning, something that would give me more control over my progress and allow me to increase my earnings and status to a level I aspired to. This opportunity has given me all this and more – I work hard, gain excellent rewards for my efforts and have plenty of scope to learn, take on more responsibility and develop my commercial and people skills.”

What the fuck! did Sam and Barry pay you to write that shit ha ha!, You are all a bunch of sicko's making money from charities you deceive people into thinking all of there money is going to charity, Barry, Sam and the rest of Mamba are all sick Weirdo's!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!

What a load of Bollock's

Rev Scapegoat · 21st January 2008, 8:07pm

I think your sarcasm detector needs new batteries, Amelia!