Most shockin jokes? *Note: offensive content within, but site rules still apply*

[Boydy]

Originally Posted by ROG

aw... neg rep for me, i must have touched a nerve. any one else get neg reps?

I got a Pos Rep for my Baby in a Blender one

[djtoast]

that's cos people thought you were telling a joke, not writing your autobiography

[slicer]

Blatently bumped.

What do Kabul and Hiroshima have in common?
Nothing.....yet.

New York, 2031: A father and his son are walking along the former site of the World Trade Center. The father stops and sighs, "To think that at one time here on this very lot stood the Twin Towers."
The son looks at his father and asks, "Daddy, what were the Twin Towers?"
"Son," the father replies, "the Twin Towers were two financial buildings with tens of thousands of occupants that towered hundreds of feet above the New York skyline. But 30 years ago, the Arabs destroyed the buildings."
The boy, looking confused, then asks, "Daddy, what are Arabs?"


Mommy, Mommy! What's a lesbian?
Go ask Daddy, she'll know.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?
When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off.

A benifit concert has been organised to help with the new orleans diasaster, heading the bill are Katrina and the waves.

What's the name of the smallest pub in the world?
The Thalidomide arms.

I know some other ones that are maybe a wee bit on the sick side, won't post them though lol.

[DiamondAFC]

go on man post em

[fallen_nemesis]

...you know you want to .....

[Boydy]

Originally Posted by slicer

I know some other ones that are maybe a wee bit on the sick side, won't post them though lol.

Hahahahahaha ....

U say that as if those ones were'nt

[DiamondAFC]

Why do women have periods?
Because they deserve them.

Why don't women have any brains?
Because they don't have penises to keep them in

What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?
"See you next month!"

Why do Japanese Sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
So you can tell them apart from feminists.

[Baron Samedi]

Originally Posted by slicer

A benifit concert has been organised to help with the new orleans diasaster, heading the bill are Katrina and the waves.

heard that. also heard there's gonna be a special performance by The Drifters - under the boardwalk.

[slicer]

OK, but mind that I'm a nice person, I just found these funny *get ready for the old neg rep*

There is a new diet in new orleans its called the swimfast diet.

Suffer with spots? Then get the new katrina cream ,new from the USA. Guaranteed to wipe out 10,000 blackheads in one go.

What's more fun than spinning a wean on a clothes line?
Stopping it wae a shovel.

What did the blind and deaf girl get for Christmas?
Cancer.

***snipped***

Little Suzie goes into the bathroon and her dad's in there taking a shower. She sees his dink and says "daddy whats that?" Her dad says " its my penis." Suzie says "when am I going to get one?" dad says " soon as your mother goes to work ! "

Second reminder that I am actually a nice person

[I'm Your God Now]

Whats the difference between a Ferrari and 100 Dead Babies?

I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


*Really Shocking/Offensive One*:

Whats small and blue?

Cot Death

Awaits neg rep

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Theres a man driving down the street, and he spots a young boy standing at the kerb.

The man pulls up and says "Excuse me son, for £10 will you come in my car?"

After a short pause the boy says:

"£10?!?!?! For £10 I'll come in your mouth"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
***snipped***

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What's worse than than having Michael Jackson babysit your kids?

Having Ian Huntley bath them.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The most offensive joke i've ever heard.

WARNING******

What is 18 inches long, stiff and makes women scream at night?









I warned you

Crib death


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What's blue and never fits properly?

A dead epileptic

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms?

Because they keep falling through the holes in his hands!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What did the the hotdog vendor at the bottom of the Twin Towers say?

Who ordered the 2 jumbo's?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Whats blue and fucks grannys?

Hyperthermia

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What's the best part about 6 year old girls?

After you're done with them, you can turn them over and use them as 6 year-old boys.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What's the difference between Santa Claus and a Jew?

Santa Claus goes down the chimney.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*Warning Rascist Joke*

***snipped***

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What's the worst thing about having a baby?
Putting the nappy back on afterwards.


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A Man is walking through the woods at night with a little boy.
BOY: "These woods sure are scary!"
MAN: "Dunno what you're complaining about-I have to walk home alone..."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A twenty-year old disabled girl with no arms or legs is sitting in her wheelchair one day in a park. All of a sudden she starts to cry. A man walking by sees this and walks up to her. He then asks her why she is crying. She replies "I'm nearly thirty years old and I've never been fucked! Will you help me?"
The man can't resist her, she's weak, helpless and bawling her eyes out. So he agrees.
He proceeds to push the chair and says that they're going to go somewhere special. They soon arrive at a nearby beach and the man hires a small boat. "How romantic", the girl says. The man lifts the girl out of her chair and seats her in the boat. They then row out some distance.
"I told you I would help you and now I will." The man gets up and the girl has a look of excitement on her face. The man picks her up and throws her overboard. "NOW your fucked!" he says and starts to row away

[TAL-BHOY]

A young mum is lying on her deathbed in a hospital with her 6 year old daughter and her husband by her side. Just before she snuffs it she grabs her husbands arm and says "you give her anything she wants or ill come back and haunt you.....remember ANYTHING!!!!!" just as that is said she passes over. Weeks later the little girl is at home and walks into the bathroom while her dad is in the bath "whats that?" she asks "its my wee man" says dad "can i come in the bath with you" asks the little girl, "NO!!!" says dad "remember what mum said" screams the little girl "ok ok get in" says dad. The dad falls asleep in the bath soon after only to awake in a bath of blood "WHAT THE FUCKS HAPPENED??????" he screams to which his little girl replies "when you fell asleep i got bored and started playing with your wee man but he spat at me so i bit his head off".

[TheCastrator]

Originally Posted by I'm Your God Now

Whats blue and fucks grannys?

Me in my lucky blue coat.

[TheCastrator]

Hey, you know, this thread might offend me, so I think I'll have a wee look.
Oh my! It's offending me!
Shall I leave? No, I'll continue to read the jokes.
Oh my, they're still offending me!
I think I'll give out neg rep.

</Cupotea>

[cupotea]

Originally Posted by TheCastrator

Hey, you know, this thread might offend me, so I think I'll have a wee look.
Oh my! It's offending me!
Shall I leave? No, I'll continue to read the jokes.
Oh my, they're still offending me!
I think I'll give out neg rep.

&lt;/Cupotea&gt;

i just wanted to check all the stupid people had posted.

[Shannow]

They have now.

edit LOLZ at self irony!