Most shockin jokes? *Note: offensive content within, but site rules still apply*

[starscream]

How long does it take to microwave a baby?

I dont know I was wanking at the time

Whats black n blue n doesnt like sex?

the little boy in my basement

whats the difference between a truck full of dead babies n a truck full of bowling balls?

You can unload one with a pitch fork

[Baron Samedi]

too soon for a London bombing one?

[ROG]

what did the deaf dumb and blind girl get for christmas?





raped

what di she get for boxing day?








her fingers broke so she couldn't tell her maw.
slut

[Baron Samedi]

ok then.

What's the difference between Londoners & Smarties?





Smarties don't melt in the tube.

[djtoast]

i think it'll be december before my eyelids uncurl

[Baby Jordan]

i think i'll refrain from joining in here...

[¡Punk!]

How do you make a 6 year old boy cry twice?

Wipe the blood off your cock onto his favourite teddy

[purkle]

can this be bad jokes too?

man walks into a bar and says "ouch"

[¡Punk!]

Did you hear the one about the Irishman who walked into a drumkit?

*bu-dum tish*

[purkle]

awee urs is soo much better

[Boydy]

How'd u stop a baby from crawling around in circles ???

Nail its other hand to the floor !!!!

Why d'you put a Baby in the Blender Feet First ???

So you can see the expression on its face !!!!

[Boydy]

Girl comes home from school ..... asks her mum

"Do babies come from the same place boys put thier thingy?"

Mum says "yes dear, they do"

Girl replies "But wont all my teeth get knocked out?"

[DiamondAFC]

Right back to crude ones:

Q = Why cant woman count to 70

A = 69's a mouthful
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**Warning contains very offence material**

Q = Whats Black and Blue and covered in Spunk

A = A Rape Victim
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Two men camping in the mountains had spent four days together, and they were getting a little testy. One morning, the first friend says, "You know, we're starting to get on each other's nerves. Why don't we split up today. I'll hike north and spend the day looking around, you hike south and spend the day. Then tonight, we'll have dinner and share our experiences over the campfire."

The second friend agrees and hikes south. The first man hikes north.

That night over dinner, the first man tells his story: "Today I hiked into a beautiful valley. I followed a stream up into a canyon and ate lunch. Then I swam in a crystal clear mountain lake. As I sat out and dried, I watched deer come and drink from the stream. The wildflowers were filled with butterflies and hawks floated all day overhead. How was your day?"

The second friend says, "I went south and ran across a set of railroad tracks. I followed them until I came across a beautiful young woman tied to the tracks. I cut the ropes off, gently lifted her off the tracks, and I had sex with her in every imaginable way all afternoon. Finally, when I was so tired I could barely move, I came back to camp."

"Wow!!" the first guy exclaimed, "Your day was MUCH better than mine. Did you get a blow job, too?"

"Nah," says the second friend over his meal, "I couldn't find her head."
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Adding this joke even though its not that shockin got told it last week and pissed myself laughing

Q = What do you call a welshman with a sheep under each arm?

A = A Pimp

[nevali]

This thread could do with being prefixed “ModFodder”, I think.

[Stew]

I've put a warning into the thread title to warn off the easily offended.