Stabbings 'a public health issue' [warning: unsettling images]

[TSR]

Could multiple stab wounds mean shorter lives? A new study on primates from the National Institute of Health says it's possible.

Thinking they mean recovering from multiple stabbings rather than "stab in the heart, you're dead"
Extra stress on the body. But that's a bit "no shit sherlock" really...they shouldn't need to test it.

~
Unless they're trying to work out why it shortens your life...like: which bits of you get more stressed -> is there a way to counter this -> we just found the cure for old age?
But going by that quote, they're just being fuckwitts

[GreatKingRat]

Originally Posted by Mwezzi

Stabbing lifts my spirits too. We should form a group.

I think you mean gang.

[Mwezzi]

Originally Posted by TSR

Thinking they mean recovering from multiple stabbings rather than "stab in the heart, you're dead"
Extra stress on the body. But that's a bit "no shit sherlock" really...they shouldn't need to test it.

~
Unless they're trying to work out why it shortens your life...like: which bits of you get more stressed -> is there a way to counter this -> we just found the cure for old age?
But going by that quote, they're just being fuckwitts

If you'd clicked through to see the link, you may have looked a little less silly. Hooray for The Onion and their fine acting!

If you did click through, a wee clue is the scrolling marquee at the bottom, with quotes like...

Surgeon General releases list of least likely causes of death - Topping the list are giraffe mauling, tea party and hand cancer.

[UncleDave]

Originally Posted by colmdominic

uncle dave u were never a good uncle in fact your just a wank

Snappy comeback.

Cheers!

[TSR]

Originally Posted by Mwezzi

If you'd clicked through to see the link, you may have looked a little less silly. Hooray for The Onion and their fine acting!

If you did click through, a wee clue is the scrolling marquee at the bottom, with quotes like...

..
...
I hate you now

*runs off to cry*

[Mwezzi]

Originally Posted by TSR

..
...
I hate you now

*runs off to cry*

Aww. It's okay, at least now you have an excellent source of spoof news. Console yourself with some of their other videos and articles, they'll cheer you right up.

[TSR]

Thanks. Only just run out of ideas to kill time

[SoYeahThisIsMe]

Originally Posted by Mwezzi

Holy shit! Stabbing also hurts monkeys. Who'd'a thunk it?



I think I know where Mr. Murday's been getting his ideas.

Thats disgusting, there is no need!

im a dafty