Vox should be lower in the mix I reckon well in some places lower in other higher (curse of demo grade material I suppose)... Could also benefit from being a little less "sung" if that makes sense
A little closer to being spoken in the quieter parts perhaps? More hushed tones for the quiet bits, a bit more mournful perhaps, then a wee bit more snarl on the louder bits? Woudl give the song more power when it kicks in.
Don't think it needs the last wee run through might work better a wee bit shorter and punchier? I'd get the vocals coming back in at around 2:10 as oppossed to 2:14 ish and maybe run through them one less time. Then after that end insturmentally as it were as oppossed to more vocals.
EDIT:- That said I am humming along to it just now so it must be catchy
