Things you shouldn't admit but will, selflessly, so others can laugh

**LesMTS** · 11th October 2006, 8:26pm

Ever since my cousin had a long and nasty battle against testicular cancer I've been inspired to actually perform self examinations regularly.
So, in the shower this morning, I was doing a bit of recon. Immediately I found my right testicle to be twice the size it normally is, I missed a heartbeat, had an instantaneous worry attack, images of chemo and possible death flashed through my mind..........until I realised, half a second later, that I was holding it top to bottom rather than from the sides.
I've an honours degree in human anatomy for fuck's sake.

Pantgirl · 11th October 2006, 8:28pm

I hardly ever poo

Dyno · 11th October 2006, 8:30pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pantgirl

I hardly ever poo

In relation to this, I haven't taken a jobby in over a fortnight, when I usually go at least once a day. I'm getting worried

Pantgirl · 11th October 2006, 8:32pm

That is slightly worrying

go to the dcotor and get lactulose! Or eat lots of apricots and prunes!

GoddamnElectric · 11th October 2006, 8:32pm

This one time a girl in high school had broken up with me, and a couple of days later I had to play her at badminton in gym class. I put on a sort of 'nicely nicely' bit of chat but internally decided I was going to whoop her ass in some crude form of petty revenge. This went tits up when it rapidly became apparent she was awesome at badminton and kicked my ass up and down the court without breaking a sweat. I looked, and felt, an utter twat.

Dyno · 11th October 2006, 8:32pm

I think I'll just keep squeezing until my butt pops

Pantgirl · 11th October 2006, 8:33pm

Piles ahoy!

Xames Zan · 11th October 2006, 8:34pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dyno

In relation to this, I haven't taken a jobby in over a fortnight, when I usually go at least once a day. I'm getting worried

I'd go to the doctor about that. I once went on a Tesco Value diet, and didn't poo for a week. However the first time after that week was on of the single best experiences in my life.

Dyno · 11th October 2006, 8:34pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pantgirl

Piles ahoy!

That was one of my new years resolutions anyway!

Zooropa · 11th October 2006, 8:35pm

Finding a lump is bad. I'll never forget the night I found mine.
On the phone to NHS24, but they told me to see my doc on the monday.
Didn't sleep for 2 nights.
9 months later I'm posting my bloodied scarred and swollen scrotum on here.
Good times.

I pulled a girl with the same surname as me.
I realise there's nothing wrong with this, but it makes me a bit uncomfortable.

Dyno · 11th October 2006, 8:36pm

I didn't know the surname "Zooropa" was that common

GoddamnElectric · 11th October 2006, 8:36pm

My sister poos about once a week. She has some sort of condition it seems.

Pantgirl · 11th October 2006, 8:39pm

THats like me....Micks dumps bout 3-4 times a day...I think HE'S odd

GoddamnElectric · 11th October 2006, 8:41pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pantgirl

THats like me....Micks dumps bout 3-4 times a day...I think HE'S odd

What the fuck does he eat??!?!

**LesMTS** · 11th October 2006, 8:41pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zooropa

Finding a lump is bad. I'll never forget the night I found mine.
On the phone to NHS24, but they told me to see my doc on the monday.
Didn't sleep for 2 nights.
9 months later I'm posting my bloodied scarred and swollen scrotum on here.
Good times.

Testicular cancer, from a clinicians point of view, is a piece of piss. It's nasty treatment but almost always effective, even if it's staged late and metastasised to the lungs and liver (as it had it my cousin's case). But even though I know this it didn't stop me from shitting myself in the shower (figuratively).