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23rd October 2006, 3:08pm
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#1 | | Curiosity killed the twat SuperMod
Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Dundee
Posts: 15,212
| Useless superpowers
What do you call a superhero who's powers are absolutely useless?
I was doing some tedious and repetitive cell culture work today and was entertaining myself throughout it by inventing new superheroes in my head.
My favourite was "Indestructable Pelvis Man" who, after sitting on a radioactive chair, developed an indestructable pelvis. He's really pissed off that he didn't get a better superpower, like flight or lasers from eyes, because although the fact that his pelvis is indestructable is quite remarkable it's also remarkably useless.
What a tragedy.
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23rd October 2006, 3:16pm
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#2 | | not a member of Anonymous
Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Avenue Q
Posts: 8,003
| Re: Useless superpowers
How about the guy who got exposed to gamma rays and became Radiation Sickness Man, with the power to spread over a wide area- although he only gets to do it once?
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te amo sin saber como, ni cuando, ni de donde,
te amo directamente sin problemas ni orgullo:
asi te amo porqueno se amar de otra manera,
-Pablo Neruda | |
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23rd October 2006, 3:18pm
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#3 | | Das ist technosex
Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Glasgow
Posts: 3,628
| Re: Useless superpowers
I love the Tim burton one thats in The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy. The superhero who's only power was that he could leave very dirty stains.  | |
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23rd October 2006, 3:19pm
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#4 | | Jaded
Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: EK
Posts: 13,690
| Re: Useless superpowers
Metric Man...can extend his arms and legs out to exactly one metre. | |
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23rd October 2006, 3:20pm
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#5 | | Curiosity killed the twat SuperMod
Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Dundee
Posts: 15,212
| Re: Useless superpowers
I was thinking of Tree Man too. After using a radioactive toothpick he found himself able to turn into a tree at will, while he's in tree form he's able to grow extremely slowly, photosynthesise and be nibbled by herbivores.
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If Schrodinger had a cat, it would definitely be dead by now. | |
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23rd October 2006, 3:23pm
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#6 | | not a member of Anonymous
Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Avenue Q
Posts: 8,003
| Re: Useless superpowers
There were a whole host of utterly useless mutants in X-titles. A fair share got theirs - a bloody and entertaining death - in X-Statix/X-Force.
Milligan/Allred, where are you now?
don't forget Spoon Man
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te amo sin saber como, ni cuando, ni de donde,
te amo directamente sin problemas ni orgullo:
asi te amo porqueno se amar de otra manera,
-Pablo Neruda | |
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23rd October 2006, 5:24pm
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#7 | | Commander
Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Castle Moral Highground
Posts: 15,086
| Re: Useless superpowers
America? | |
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23rd October 2006, 5:26pm
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#8 | | ImPETEster
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 6,701
| Re: Useless superpowers
shoe man, the man who can fit his feet into any pair of shoes 
__________________ Speedcore : It's the musical equivalent of holding your breath ; that is, if done for long enough, you will pass out. Terrorists Never Miss | |
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23rd October 2006, 5:34pm
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#9 | | ShakingTheDisease SuperMod
Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Ptolomea
Posts: 19,650
| Re: Useless superpowers
Thumbo, who can—at will—transform all his fingers into thumbs, for short periods.
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23rd October 2006, 5:35pm
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#10 | | Pillowpants Moderator
Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Granny Land
Posts: 15,020
| Re: Useless superpowers
Hair man - who can, at will, make his hair grow short or long and change the colour etc. Quite fun but mostly pointless.
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23rd October 2006, 5:36pm
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#11 | | Oh Captain My Captain
Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Airstrip One
Posts: 26,063
| Re: Useless superpowers
The Incredible Bulk, who can expand his body to a huge mass, none of it anything other than excess body fat. | |
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23rd October 2006, 5:38pm
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#12 | | ImPETEster
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 6,701
| Re: Useless superpowers
apathy man - he doesnt do anything, and he doesnt care
__________________ Speedcore : It's the musical equivalent of holding your breath ; that is, if done for long enough, you will pass out. Terrorists Never Miss | |
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23rd October 2006, 5:41pm
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#13 | | Midijunkie
Join Date: May 2002 Location: Breaking into Heaven
Posts: 31,810
| Re: Useless superpowers
Quote:
Originally Posted by Semprini  The Incredible Bulk, who can expand his body to a huge mass, none of it anything other than excess body fat. | The Incredible Sulk, who after contracting cancer from a radioactive accident just can't cheer up. | |
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23rd October 2006, 5:45pm
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#14 | | Athiest Otter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 15,099
| Re: Useless superpowers
Cotton bud boy, whose arms turn into giant cotton buds whenever he sesnse someone is just out of the shower.
__________________ Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like hard work. Thomas Edison. | |
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23rd October 2006, 5:45pm
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#15 | | Caissa's DeathAngel
Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Beneath a blade
Posts: 16,520
| Re: Useless superpowers
Meg in Family Guy - when all the others get superpowers, hers is her "superamazing...power - to grow her finger nails"
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