Drunk Lawyer Presents Worst Defense Ever

*LesMTS* · 15th January 2007, 10:05pm

Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four

It's lengthy but fantastic viewing.
Briefly, a defense lawyer turns up to court drunk, slurring and tells lie after lie after ludicrous lie to the judge in attempt to get off the hook.
He's not drunk, apparently, he's concussed after a mystery car rear-ended him into another car then both cars disappeared. He names a puzzled girl he met twenty minutes before entering the courtroom as his ex-girlfriend. His gran died two weeks ago (or was it a month? he can't remember) and he's stressed.......guy just keeps digging himself deeper.

Lawyer: (after being breathalysed) "I am stone sober..."
Judge: "Mr Caramagno, if I were you I would just be quiet at this point."

15th January 2007, 10:13pm

hahahahahahahaaahahahaaahahahahahahahah

im not in favour of dialling 911 your honour.

*LesMTS* · 15th January 2007, 10:24pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mistle Toe

hahahahahahahaaahahahaaahahahahahahahah

im not in favour of dialling 911 your honour.

He can't even stick to one story, let alone demonstrate any kind of consistency within a story.

15th January 2007, 10:49pm

i wont waste it for anyone else!

"your honour i admit i had a few drinks last night, but i just want to try this case"

Zooropa · 15th January 2007, 11:40pm

Spent a while watching all those, pretty funny!

**djtoast** · 15th January 2007, 11:59pm

Haha, fantastic.

And look:

http://josephcaramagno.com/

Quote:

WITH 14 YEARS OF EXPERIENCE DEFENDING CITIZENS' RIGHTS IN CRIMINAL COURTS AND OVER 50 JURY TRIALS JOSEPH CARAMAGNO BRINGS THE KIND OF EXPERIENCE YOU NEED WHEN CHARGED WITH A CRIME.

AS A FORMER ASSISTANT DISTRICT ATTORNEY, MR. CARAMAGNO KNOWS BOTH SIDES OF THE LAW AND HAS FIRST HAND KNOWLEDGE OF HOW POLICE AND PROSECUTORS EVALUATE A CASE. THIS INSIGHT IS CRITICAL IN EVALUATING HOW TO MOST SUCCESSFULLY DEFEND YOUR CASE AND EXPLOITWEAKNESS IN THE GOVERNMENT'S CASE AGAINST YOU.

Might wanna rewrite that, pal.

*LesMTS* · 16th January 2007, 12:03am

Quote:

YOU WILL NOT BE DISHED OFF TO A LESS EXPERIENCED ATTORNEY, BUT WILL RECEIVE THE PERSONAL ATTENTION FROM THE BATTLE TESTED EXPERIENCED FORMER PROSECUTOR YOU HIRED, JOSEPH S CARAMAGNO .

Reassuring.

**djtoast** · 16th January 2007, 12:05am

One instance of when you'd want him to be bullshitting you.

*LesMTS* · 16th January 2007, 12:08am

How many ridiculous lies did he actually tell during that whole sorry incident?
The hit and run was clearly pish.
What was all that about his ex-girlfriend?

**djtoast** · 16th January 2007, 12:14am

Quote:

Judge Michelle Leavitt will decide whether Joe Caramagno will be charged for the mistrial. If so, he'll be given an itemized bill. Each day in court ranges in cost from $4,000 to $7,000. The case was declared a mistrial on the second day.

I'd have though the bar association would have something to say...

Pantgirl · 16th January 2007, 3:28am

I'd be raging if that ws my Lawyer! He's up for a life sentence for kidnapping and your lawyer turns up drunk spouting pish? Madness!!!

~LEE~ · 16th January 2007, 4:10am

gutted.

*LesMTS* · 2nd June 2008, 7:23pm

Just reminded of this and bumping for giggles.
High larious.

Dario · 2nd June 2008, 8:19pm

If I hire him as my lawyer, do I also get a free smoking monkey?

DoNotResus · 2nd June 2008, 8:37pm

On you go, http://josephcaramagno.com/

Quote:

WITH 14 YEARS OF EXPERIENCE DEFENDING CITIZENS' RIGHTS IN CRIMINAL COURTS AND OVER 50 JURY TRIALS JOSEPH CARAMAGNO BRINGS THE KIND OF EXPERIENCE YOU NEED WHEN CHARGED WITH A CRIME