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31st January 2007, 9:58pm
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#1 | | tired and emotional Editor
SuperMod
Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Dundee
Posts: 19,598
| What would YOU do?
I was put in quite a socially difficult situation by one of my friends recently. I'd like to relate the story to you and ask...."what would YOU do?"
So, I was sitting in the flat enjoying "The top 100 longest sticks of spaghetti" on Channel 5, with brilliant commentary from likes of Jimmy Carr and Ian Hyland, when there was a rap-rapping at my door. I don't usually answer my door, as I live on my own and rarely have unexpected visitors, but the rap-rapping became more frantic so, thinking it was clearly something demanding my immediate attention, I elected to find out who it was.
I unbolted and, cautiously, opened the door to see a great friend of mine, sweating, wide-eyed and with a great look of distress on his face. He pushed me to the side and stumbled into the hallway where he stood, hunched over, panting, and with hands on knees.
Between gasps he managed the words, "Can I use your bathroom, please!". I admit I hesitated, shocked by his state of welfare, but after a few seconds I answered with a "Y...".
Before I had a chance to complete the syllable he, with a blood curdling, anguished yell, whipped down his jeans and started, in front of my incredulous eyes, giving birth to exactly one million baby newts all over my hall. The newts were piling up like the jackpot of some perverted gambling machine. Soon, they were up to my neck. Fearing I might drown I made my escape by using his head to push myself from the deluge, submerging him completely in the effort.
I immediately made for the door. Haven't been back or heard from him since, I'm terrified he may have suffocated under his nightmarish progeny.
What would you have done?
__________________ Willies. | 
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31st January 2007, 10:06pm
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#2 | | 33 Rounds Per Minute
Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Clydebank
Posts: 20,383
| Re: What would YOU do?
Took some better drugs, for a start.
I'd imagine i would have done the same thing.
__________________ Quote: |
Originally Posted by addy Whatever happened to the idea of them integrating with our culture? You come here, you respect our customs. You dont like it, you fuck right off back where you came from | | |
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31st January 2007, 10:24pm
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#3 | | Guest | Re: What would YOU do?
what would you do?
what would YOU do?
what would you do? | |
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31st January 2007, 10:25pm
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#4 | | tired and emotional Editor
SuperMod
Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Dundee
Posts: 19,598
| Re: What would YOU do?
The newts were making a noise like that horny tortoise.
But there were a million of them.
__________________ Willies. | |
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31st January 2007, 10:29pm
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#5 | | .
Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Glasgow
Posts: 9,617
| Re: What would YOU do?
You could join in with the newsts and become their friends. You could live with them for years and reappear slightly newtish.
It would be like the jungle book on acid! LOL | |
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31st January 2007, 10:30pm
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#6 | | Squee The Drumming Monkey
Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Glasgow
Posts: 1,883
| Re: What would YOU do?
Go back and make newt pies
mmm
pie
__________________ Recently Mr. T considered becoming Emo, he then realized the folly of this, as he would in fact have to pity himself. www.myspace.com/cursivehearts | |
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31st January 2007, 10:31pm
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#7 | | Too happy to be Goth
Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Scotland, the m
Posts: 541
| Re: What would YOU do?
I would have opened Newts R Us.
__________________
Intoxicated by the sound of wheels on steel. | |
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31st January 2007, 11:01pm
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#8 | | Guest | Re: What would YOU do?
I would have pondered, "What would Jesus do?" | |
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31st January 2007, 11:03pm
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#9 | | Tannhauser Gate Veteran
Join Date: May 2001 Location: On the moral high ground - And armed!
Posts: 26,767
| Re: What would YOU do?
He'd have fed one person with the five thousand newts, obviously. | |
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31st January 2007, 11:07pm
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#10 | | tired and emotional Editor
SuperMod
Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Dundee
Posts: 19,598
| Re: What would YOU do?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev Scapegoat  He'd have fed one person with the five thousand newts, obviously. | What would he have done with the other 995,000?
__________________ Willies. | |
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31st January 2007, 11:56pm
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#11 | | la la love you
Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Glasgow
Posts: 7,808
| Re: What would YOU do?
My pet's really small.
It's probably because it's my-newt.
/badjokes.com
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by disolved_girl I don't think 'fallenblackrose' cares about rationality, she just wants her arm fixed and to hell with everything else. | | |
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1st February 2007, 12:36pm
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#12 | | into shit and piss
Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Uranus
Posts: 349
| Re: What would YOU do?
open a newt emporium, people are always lookin for a good deal on a newt, i'd pay upwards of 17p per newt if you want to sell any of them.
although i think i should tell you in advance that i intend to use them for some pretty unpleasant newt related sexual experimentation and will be posting the videos on a mexican animal porn website | |
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1st February 2007, 12:40pm
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#13 | | (suicidemachine)
Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Too large
Posts: 18,430
| Re: What would YOU do?
would you have to give up your dreams for freedom? | |
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