If a popular jazz musician turns up dead......

**LesMTS** · 30th April 2005, 9:23am

I went to the Courtney Pine gig last night at the Caird Hall. It was a great show but I'm concerned for the man's safety.
During the last number Mr Pine walked into the audience, saxophone in mouth, and wandered around everybody (by this point there were no arses on seats) playing his sax and high-fiving as many people as he could.
"Woah there Courtney," I thought to myself "this is Dundee! High-fiving people means you're trying to call them a dick." But he continued his wanyton disregard of the local social norms. Let's just hope that he didn't find his way to Reform Street.

Uncle Fritz · 30th April 2005, 10:24am

Im sure he would of delt with any unpleasant folk by playing a head-crushing F#. He is after all, a professional.

**LesMTS** · 30th April 2005, 10:29am

He certainly is. He's pretty good at the saxophone too.

Uncle Fritz · 30th April 2005, 10:41am

Ive also heard he can open beer bottles with his teeth, has a valid child minder certificate and can do a mean body pop!

**LesMTS** · 30th April 2005, 10:53am

He saxed me to the edge of death last night. I think he should join Perineum. He's a man of integrity, he cares so much for his art that he doesn't care that it's made him develop big fat cheeks. You should have seen his bassist, he was incredible but looked unhinged, like he was about to waste everyone in the room with the hairy side of his hand.

Uncle Fritz · 30th April 2005, 10:58am

Have you ever killed anyone Les?

**LesMTS** · 30th April 2005, 11:11am

Not intentionally.

**LesMTS** · 30th April 2005, 11:12am

**LesMTS** · 30th April 2005, 11:18am

Uncle Fritz · 30th April 2005, 11:20am

I was just wondering.

**LesMTS** · 30th April 2005, 11:24am

Oh. Have you ever killed someone? Have you ever watched a man die?

Campestral · 30th April 2005, 11:27am

i think you bored him to death

**LesMTS** · 30th April 2005, 11:33am

Thats the best way to kill someone.

**LesMTS** · 30th April 2005, 11:35am

I mean bore in the sense of to involve someone in inane conversation, not bore as in what that guy is doing to that other guys head with the drill in that photo. Although that's a pretty good way to kill someone too, if messy. I also once 'boared' someone to death with a large male wild peccary.

Uncle Fritz · 30th April 2005, 11:37am

No, but I did watch a rabbit snuff film once.

My ex-flat mate knew this guy who knew this guy who was a bit of a nut job as you are away to find out. Basically these two came from Fife (the nest in which Les originates from) and they were out one day with their air rifles shooting rabbits. They also had a video camera with them for some strange reason. Anyway, the mentalist guy ended up shooting this one rabbit in the leg so it wasn't dead but rest assured it was pretty much fucked. Instead of quickly putting it out of its misery the guy picked it up, turned to his friend with the camera and said, "Here, film this!". He then proceed to pin the rabbit up against a tree by the neck and repeatedly smashed the rabbits face in with his fist while laughing away. It was fucking rough! The thing was totally screaming away and his laughing over the top of it made it that little bit more unsettling. I heard not long after that the guy was now in jail for murder(against a human, not a rabbit).

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