Movie: Ultraviolet - Page 2

*Potatojunkie* · 20th June 2006, 1:17pm

Ultraviolet is a gem. Probably the worst film to be released in the past five years, it's an unrelenting barrage of unintentional hilarity.

Star: Milla Jovovich, sleepwalking her way through a trite "angry heroine" role that's had the appellation "science vampire" hastily slapped on top of it to make it appear interesting.

Setting: a grim, authoritarian society. It is the future. There is a vampire plague.

Story: none to speak of.

The piss-poor dialogue, porous plot, and complete absence of any acting whatsoever; these things are wholly unimportant. From the moment bowling-ball-encased ninja vampires drop from a helicopter, through a skyscraper, into a science lab, you're on an 88-minute rollercoaster of "holy fuck, I can't believe this got a release".

What little plot there is makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. The "haemovores", carriers of a disease which...

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Connor O'Bain · 20th June 2006, 8:37pm

nothing can be worse than battle fields. but i need some one to tell em where it replaces any of the other 2 of the unholy trinity, Elektra and Soul survivours

Obsidian · 20th June 2006, 10:34pm

I dont give a toss! i would go and stare at 6 hours of Milla doing nowt but knitting a jumper... she is one sexy goddess

*Potatojunkie* · 20th June 2006, 10:41pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Obsidian

I dont give a toss! i would go and stare at 6 hours of Milla doing nowt but knitting a jumper... she is one sexy goddess

You get to see her bum. Away and watch it.

Stem · 21st June 2006, 2:56am

Love the 'mooltipass' comment. I spent the majority of Resident Evil: Apocalypse shouting that, genius.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Connor O'Bain

, Elektra

Such a gash film, I have it in my collection for two reasons 1. I have every recent Marvel film (even the Hulk) and 2. Jennifer Garner

Draven · 21st June 2006, 7:01am

Quote:

Originally Posted by Connor O'Bain

nothing can be worse than battle fields. but i need some one to tell em where it replaces any of the other 2 of the unholy trinity, Elektra and Soul survivours

eXistenZ?

Quiz Bhoy · 21st June 2006, 7:09am

Is it worse than Queen of the Damned though? If not then it must be a reasonably good movie!

QotD is the benchmark of bad movies.........

MarkMono · 21st June 2006, 7:26am

Still Constantine for me.

Bastards.

Draven · 21st June 2006, 7:41am

Quote:

Originally Posted by JohnnyMonolith

Still Constantine for me.

Bastards.

Heartedly agreed with.

Stem · 21st June 2006, 4:07pm

Let us not forget the Dungeons and Dragons movie!

*Potatojunkie* · 21st June 2006, 4:09pm

Why not? I nearly had. Git.

pANDAS Radio · 22nd June 2006, 4:44pm

Saw this months ago, its only good point is having Milla in it. On the upside i can now track her down and comfort her while she reads the reviews.

She'll need a lot of comforting.

amytiger · 23rd June 2006, 11:35am

Oh dear, that was painful.

Worst part? Oh, pretty much all of it.

Best part? Milla Jovovich's stomach. I think I watched entranced, lulled into a hypnotic state by watching it move.

Good thing I watched most of the movie on fast-forward. Tch. Aeon Flux was better than that.

darth_haggis · 3rd July 2006, 9:30am

Em, I didnt think it was that bad. Very unusual, yes.

Came across like an Asian film with Western actors. I think id it was Asian cast, it may have at least understood more.

I felt it must've been like when people came out of Space Odyssey.
"what was that all about?! it was weird."

Not much dialogue and as much as people say it has been heavily CGI'd, it wasn't the same (criticism) as Star Wars Phatom Menace were you expected more 'real' costumes and actors/ing. It was refreshing in some ways.

I do understand why people thought it would be like Blade, for example. But it sure wasn't.

Obsidian · 3rd July 2006, 7:09pm

Goddess!