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Ok so someone had to go and I’ll tell you, there were arguments about this mainly due to the fond memories me and Morton have of the original 1969 classic of the same name with Michael Cain and gang, 3 minis, a traffic jam, Italy and some gold among other things. So obviously neither of us wanted our memory tarnished by another rubbish remake. In the end I gave in and with that trudged to the UGC for what I fully believed to be 2 hours of mindless drivel ripping up a classic. So what do we have, no Cain but at least we get Norton who has to be one of the best actors of this generation, I was never a great fan of Cain anyways so no loss there. Wahlberg as the leader of a band of thieves, inside man Steve (Norton), computer genius Lyle (Green), wheelman handsome Rob (Statham), explosives expert Left-Ear (Mos Def) and safecracker John Bridger (Sutherland). It all starts in Italy with a $35 million gold heist but that quickly moves to Los Angeles after Norton double cross the team...

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I apologise in advance for this review sounding fan boyish in any way but you have to understand I have been collecting slasher movies from the age of 13 (as my video and DVD collections will contest) and Jason just happens to be my number one favourite slasher of them all with Michael Myers running a close second. So sit back, relax, turn off all the lights and read as I go on and on about how wonderful this movie is. This movie sucks! On so many levels this movie could have saved the slasher flicks from another decade a tedious B movie status, but alas it was not to be. Freddy and Jason fans have been waiting for a movie like this for years and it’s a shame to see such a chance wasted. A rather standard script complete with obligatory shower scene, the old “if you have sex / do drugs / drink alcohol you will die” motif doesn’t help matters much and the characterisation, if you can call it that, of most of the players is standard teen cinema nonsense. There’s even...

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An immortal battle for supremacy between vampires and werewolves is raging. Selene (Kate Beckinsale) is a vampire warrior sworn to destroy the werewolves, who finds herself doubting her leaders when she encounters Michael (Scott Speedman) a human. The movie starts with an action packed shoot out in a subway where we find the vampires hunting down werewolves who are in turn hunting Michael for reasons unkown. It would be very easy to pass over this movie as another Matrix bandwagon jumper, but really I think we all have to get over that. The Matrix brought in a new style of cinematography and styling; subsequent films aren't ripping it off any more than film noir was taken up as a dominant style of it's time. What the Matrix did was introduce a new genre (or amalgam of genres), and Underworld, like Equilibrium before it, is a film within that genre. Ok now I’ve got that off my chest on with the review… The fight scenes in the subway and in general do have a very familiar...

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If I were allowed to print what I really thought about this film then it would be a very short and rude review. But in the best interests of making this thing stretch to 500 words or there about I’ll attempt to salvage some good points from the wreckage. Eh… The effects were good? Okay we’ve seen better but given the nature of the Hulks origins they did rather well. Most things in this world don’t translate from the comic book (sorry “graphic novel”) very well. I know the CGI Hulk has its bad points but all in all the action sequences are very well done, just a pity there wasn’t more of them to brighten up an otherwise very dull movie. Full credit goes to Eric Banan as Dr Banner though; he worked his way rather well through most of the movie and was only upstaged by a few million green pixels now and then. He almost managed to capture the spirit of the old TV series that run forever in the 80’s. I say almost as no one could say “You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry!”...