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After the fairly enjoyable but uncharacteristically mainstream Brothers Grimm, Terry Gilliam’s new film Tideland is a return to the style of movie that he does best—deranged, incoherent, and haunting. You’ll be chewing over it for days after.

Seven years from now everything you do will be recorded

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The transition from page to screen has robbed A Scanner Darkly of none of its impact.

Tony Jaa returns

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The Warrior King, aka Tom Yum Goong, is the follow up to the surprise Thai sleeper hit that was Ong Bak. This film finds the same crew at the helm, director Prachya Pinkaew and star Tony Jaa. Unfortunately unfunny Thai funny man Petchtai Wongkamlao is also along for the ride but more on him later. The crux of the film is that a jungle lad's elephants get stolen and he nips off to Australia to get them back. Mixed in with this is some sort of story line involving crooked policemen and a Triad family succession drama. It's all a little muddled and by the middle of the film you'll find yourself frowning, wondering who is who and what the fuck is going on. It doesn't help that it is done ineptly, characters that are speaking in English mangle words to the extent that it's laughable, including an all important news reader who acts as a link between scenes. You wonder why they bothered in the first place. Indeed this film is pretty much a regression from the simplicity that made Ong...

Superman is back, unfortunately.

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This review could be summed up in a couple of lines by simply saying:: “Superman Returns is like a love child of the first Superman movie—it’s just as cheesy and dragged out longer than it should be.” The opening of this movie is misleadingly dark for a comic book movie. By this I don’t mean underlying themes, unfortunately—just that it’s, well … dark. The movie opens with some space visuals and then the credits kick in. Oh, how the credits kick in. Remember the original movie, kids? Well, these credits are the same … only they are now in a movie oh, so many years later for that retro feel. Oh, and now we are back to some dark scenes again with Old Mother Kent spotting something happening out on the farm. Unfortunately we then follow her walking across to the cornfield which took up a larger portion of my life than I was comfortable with, to be honest. Superman sneaks up on Old Mother Kent and faints. Oh, wow~! With that nugget of babybel over with it’s now over to catching...

"America is living in spin"

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Based on a novel by Christopher Buckley, first published in 1994, this satirical film tells the story of a tobacco lobbyist from a wonderful (if slightly non-PC) perspective.

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It's strange when you come out from a film sore with laughing but still feel somewhat disappointed. It took a long time for my jaw to feel as though it was back in its proper place after this film violated me. The problem was that the film seemed to get tired of making me laugh halfway through and, instead, started finishing off some loose ends the directors should have left on the cutting room floor. Maybe Robin Williams would have been annoyed if his awful "pianist" joke had been cut out. I hate Robin Williams since he stopped doing cocaine. The idea of The Aristocrats is simple. A joke has been passed down from comedian to comedian where the idea seems to be to be as disgusting as you can. The premise of the joke is always the same. A family act goes into a talent agent's to show their act. The agent is then witness to scenes so disgusting that you can't help but double over in laughter. Afterwards the agent asks for the act's name. The answer is "The...

"Are you mental?"

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From the moment bowling-ball-encased ninja vampires drop from a helicopter, through a skyscraper, into a science lab, you're on an 88-minute rollercoaster of "holy fuck, I can't believe this got a release".

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http://www.alternativenation.net/gallery/files/3/2/1/8/cityonfirewee.jpgA million spotty oiks who make a lot of use of slow motion replay would have you believe that John Woo is the greatest action director that Hong Kong ever produced. Whilst they may be partly right—Bullet In The Head is one of the finest films period—other film makers such as Kirk Wong and Ringo Lam have made violent, dramatic movies that have far more to say than Woo’s flashy but ultimately emotionally empty pictures such as 1992’s Hardboiled. Kirk Wong is a story for another day; this piece is focused on Ringo Lam, in particular his 1986 cops and robbers saga City On Fire, a movie that has probably not been seen by many but has certainly influenced other successful films like Reservoir Dogs (which itself also lifted bits from The Killing, but that is beside the point). The development of City On Fire lies in Ringo Lam’s need to break from one genre into another. Following a successful run of comedies...

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Disney/Pixar's Cars brings together Owen Wilson and Paul Newman and a host of other stars for a thoroughly entertaining smash hit.

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One thing before I begin – if you want to see this movie, bring some aspirin. There's a good hour of tire screeching in this. So this is the third in the Fast and the Furious franchise, following a pretty good first movie, a fairly pants second one and now we have a third. Unlike number two, Tokyo Drift does not follow one of the original characters, this is a stand alone story. The basic premise is an all-American lad named Shawn Boswell who follows that cliché of clichés, the divorced-parents-angry-teen type who races his car with the local high school jerks. One day he wrecks up some property and is deported to Japan to live with his army-based father. Quite why Japan, with it's low crime rate, would take in this idiot is anyone's guess. Anyway, after hating everything about the new culture and new high school Shawn finds the racing scene and decides to stick around. Unlike the States, Japanese racing is about drifting not speed. That's slick tyres and constant power...