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Radha Mitchel, Sean Bean, Laurie Holden directed by Christophe Gans So here we are, the latest movie/videogame adaptation. A troubled breed they are, generally filling the 'utter shite' to 'passable background at a party' niche. Christophe Gans (Crying Freeman, Brotherhood of the wolf) proclaimed that he thought that not a single good movie/videogame adaptation existed as yet whilst making Silent Hill, and its taken me a couple of days of digesting to actually work out if one exists now. Rose's daughter Sharon is troubled. Her sleepwalking escapades are becoming more frequent and more dangerous, and she has been calling out the name 'Silent Hill' as she wakes, but with no memory of this afterwards. Father Christopher (Sean Bean) wants Rose to agree to have her put in an institution, but she decides to take matters into her own hands and take her daughter to the place she calls out in her dreams, against her husbands wishes. Just outside the town, the radio in the car goes...

Swedish teen drama

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When a 13 year old girl passes out from alcohol at a party, compromising photos are taken of her and she has to deal with the aftermath of what has happened. This is a subtitled Swedish film that depicts the start of the transition of youth into adulthood. Sounds boring? Well, yes, that description probably won’t inspire many readers to make an effort to find this film, but if you don’t then you will miss out on a funny and beautifully crafted story of the hardship we all go through when we go from being a child to becoming an adult. Set in a Stockholm suburb, this story follows Sofie (Amanda Renberg) who has just started High School where her dad (a single parent) teaches. She is adamant that she will enjoy High School life despite having to deal with the fact her dad is there. Sofie’s attempt to be accepted by her peers takes her to a party where the drink flows and the boys get frisky. Having passed out on the floor, the boy who is the object of her affection, Mouse,...

I hate this mother-fucking, chicken-shit detail.

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As far as classic cinema goes, Jack Nicholson in an Oscar-nominated role as a character named Bad-Ass Buddosky, in a film that was held back for two years while the studios tried (unsuccessfully in the end) to water down all the fucking language, sets the mood for a much overlooked gem. Nicholson is teamed up with Otis Young’s Mule, as two US Navymen given the thankless task of escorting to jail the naive young prisoner, Meadows: played by Randy Quaid so well here that this film is given as the reason he became typecast as the big stupid doofus he's most known for. Along the way the two career sailors decide to show their captive some of what life has to offer before he starts on an overly-harsh eight-year incarceration. Inevitably this involves drinking, fighting and whores, and, less predictably, spiritual chanting, ice skating and a frozen barbecue. But the plotline here is just an excuse for a rites of passage road movie, with excellent character development. Before they...

Movie

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V is for vitriol.

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A weaker film than its predecessor, perhaps, but compelling viewing, and highly recommended.

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Take a little of Alice in Wonderland, and stir in a fair portion of alice in wonderland.

Covering quirky cinema

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Kiss Me Deadly USA (1955) Genre: Classic brutal film noir You can write essays alone on Mike Hammer. Without Mickey Spillane’s American anti-hero there would be no film characters like Paul Kersey or comic stars such as the Punisher. Mike Hammer is the blueprint for the brooding, maybe even a little bit insane fellow who is always keen to shoot first and fuck the questions kind of guy. But this is not a discourse on Spillane’s Commie hating P.I., rather it is on the finest of his many cinematic adaptations, Robert Aldrich’s Kiss Me Deadly which is regarded as one of the greatest noirs ever made. This 1955 film concerns Hammer, played by hulking Ralph Meeker, who picks up a girl on a night drive but is driven off the road and as he lies helpless and half unconscious, witnesses the girl getting battered to death by a gang of heavies. Then he and the girl get driven off a cliff and Hammer being Hammer of course he survives and sets out on a course of vengeance, aided by...

Covering quirky cinema on dvd, usually cheap ones

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Nightmare At Bittercreek USA (1989) Genre: TV Movie Hell This crud stars Lindsay Wagner who used to be Wonder Woman or the Bionic Woman or something alongside some guy with a moustache called Tom Skerritt who is here obviously to be this film’s Burt Reynolds, even getting crippled like his character in Deliverance. The box blurb claims it is a nail biting thriller about a bunch of house wives battling Neo-Nazis in the mountains. It is and it isn’t. If you can call four fat guys with badly painted faces and toy store army uniforms Neo-Nazis you are more willing to suspend your disbelief than me. This film is beyond stupid, the film containing the worst booby trap ever, the Nazis having set up a trip wire across a trail; the wire was tied around a hand grenade on the opposite side. After the wire is tripped the camera pans the grenade on the ground with the pin and spoon still intact, the grenade explodes. What the fuck? Isn’t that impossible? This crap is so lame there’s...

Covering quirky films from Hong Kong to the pound shop

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Werewolves On Wheels - USA (1971) This flick has motorbikes, werewolves and motorbike riding werewolves so you’d assume it was going to be great. Unfortunately Werewolves On Wheels is bollocks. The film concerns a motorbike gang who get cursed by a bunch of devil monks and as they ride around various members start turning up dead. The story is flat, the acting is lame, gore nonexistent and there’s not even many laughs to be had at the cheese factor. In fact the highlight is when an ugly biker gal gyrates with a snake. The werewolf itself, when it finally shows up, is just a guy with an extra hairy face, making Teen Wolf seem terrifying in comparison. Apart from the werewolf bit, this film could be any crap biker movie, even using Easy Rider like camera work. Werewolves On Wheels is a bag of junk. Winners And Sinners - Hong Kong (1983)

Film

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Not your standard Steve Coogan vehicle.