A friend of mine donated a shitload of videos to me a while ago, mostly old manga videos and an entire collection of David Lynch's work. I've started to work my way through the Lynch films, but I feel I need to be in the mood to watch his stuff, which isn't very often. So I've often "cleansed the pallate" before-hand by watching a crappy film, safe in the knowledge that the Lynch film will be vastly superior.
Last night I felt the urge to watch
Lost Highway, so I stuck on a supposedly crap film that I hadn't seen before.
It was
Batman and Robin.
Words almost fail me. I actually felt like kicking the TV it was the bad. I was in no mood to watch anything after that. The acting, the sets, the dialogue...oh, and the fact that the very first thing seen in the film is George Clooney's ass in PVC.
In close-up. I thought to myself, "For
fuck's sake, there better be a female equivelant to make up for that". Unfortunately, it was provided by a lump of wood..sorry, I mean Alicia Silverstone. I tried to watch this film as some kind of live-action cartoon, or even a parody of the old TV series, but even that didn't endear the film to me in any way. The only thing that made me it sit up and pay attention was the fact that
Bane had an unadvertised appearance in it...but only as some kind of mindless hench-man, and not the Batman's-spine-snapping villian of the comics.
The difference between the old Batman films and the new ones was made abundantly clear having viewed the
Dark Knight a couple of days ago...*shakes head*...
Batman and Robin is honestly is the second worst film I have ever seen. When I get to the pearly gates, I'm going to march right up to St. Peter and demand a refund of two hours of life, which I will probably spend stalking Joel Schumaker with a knife.
