[Punk] EP: Gay For Johnny Depp - Blood: The Natural Lubricant

In theory alone, I should love this album. Gay for Johnny Depp is a homosexual band. Great, I love homosexuals in bands. They sing about filthy gay sex. Great, I love filthy gay sex. They play screamo cum rocking hardcore. Great, I love screamo and hardcore. They love Johnny Depp. Great, I think Johnny Depp is an OK actor.

Theory is just that, purely theory. Reality eventually creeps the fuck up on you … like a ridiculously large black penis you find attached to a big man named Leroy in your local park’s darkest bushes at midnight. In theory, its gonna be fun and something to brag about later. In reality though, having your anus stretched beyond the width of your average toilet seat is not so appealing.

Gay for Johnny Depp essentially have one trick and they ride it pretty hard over the course of this 14-minute EP. Part dirty full steam ahead rock, part spasticated screamo. It owes a great debt to the San Diego scene (particularly Swing Kids and Antioch Arrows, but not as good), one hand remains firmly on hip throughout and the more fashion conscious members of the Blood Brothers’ fanbase would undoubably gain erections over this if their tight fitting jeans didn’t prevent the necessary blood flow.

They make a reasonable showing of it though. Their rhythms are frantic, the tunes are catchy, certain parts will make you shake that pointy finger, and sure, some of their lyrics are pretty filthy. It just so happens I’ve heard bands that beat GFJD at each of these things. Maybe I expected too much? Perhaps, but how can you not have unreasonably high expectations for a band that calls their record Blood: The Natural Lubricant (An Apocalyptic Adventure Beyond Sodom And Gomorrah)?!

One thing I feel obliged to say though is that GFJD are not the first ever ‘homocore’ band. Christ, Cargo, do some research. If anyone is at all interested in this band, but perhaps wants something with sweatier, dirtier, lower slung balls, then might I recommend you hunt down the Limp Wrist discography. God, those fags could rock.

Blood: the Natural Lubricant is out now on Captains of Industry.
gayforjohnnydepp.com

The Colossus · 6th October 2005, 6:55pm

That was quick

ashbash · 6th October 2005, 6:57pm

What an absolutely great name for a band.

punkin_drunk · 6th October 2005, 7:00pm

good review, i quite like the band tho. i dunno why. saw em at barfly. i think its just the name really. when johnny depp was mentioned i spent the whole set drooling so all in all for me it was a great set!

Joe Spinebuster · 6th October 2005, 7:14pm

More reviews centered around music as opposed to sexual preference, please.

Wreakin_Havok · 6th October 2005, 7:28pm

Ach well, they always have to rub it in our straight faces dont they

Lyris · 6th October 2005, 8:54pm

As do any minority group that have ever been repressed - it's to be expected. You could also say that "black" rap music with heavy 'street' overtones is "rubbing it in", if you catch my drift (not that I'm accusing you of anything).

Quote:

God, those fags could rock.

Hmm

*Charlie Parker* · 6th October 2005, 9:07pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lyris

As do any minority group that have ever been repressed - it's to be expected. You could also say that "black" rap music with heavy 'street' overtones is "rubbing it in", if you catch my drift (not that I'm accusing you of anything).

Hmm

You need to get out more

Joe Spinebuster · 6th October 2005, 9:24pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lyris

You could also say that "black" rap music with heavy 'street' overtones is "rubbing it in", if you catch my drift

Well, just like I'd prefer my reviews of what you refer to as "black rap music" to focus more on the music and less on the gimmicks, I'd also prefer the same quality in reviews of homosexual bands. If you catch my drift.

poprock · 7th October 2005, 7:07am

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joe Spinebuster

More reviews centered around music as opposed to sexual preference, please.

In fairness, the band do their best to bludgeon you over the head with their sexual preferences. In their PR, their artwork, their sleevenotes, their lyrics, their videos, and on their website. They want it to be talked about.

Lyris · 7th October 2005, 7:17am

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joe Spinebuster

Well, just like I'd prefer my reviews of what you refer to as "black rap music" to focus more on the music and less on the gimmicks, I'd also prefer the same quality in reviews of homosexual bands. If you catch my drift.

Yup, agree with you entirely.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Charlie Parker

You need to get out more

What makes you say that? I thought it was a pretty valid point.

Posh · 7th October 2005, 8:28am

They're called 'Gay For Johnny Depp', describe themselves as 'homocore' and have a record called 'Blood: The Natural Lubricant' and you want the review to be centred less around homosexuality?

Not to mention there's a good two paragraphs there that provide a very accurate description of this band. You probably didn't read it 'cos you were looking for something to start an argument over.

7th October 2005, 8:46am

Couldn't get into see them at Million Dead, but heard they were SHITE

Posh · 7th October 2005, 9:10am

Yeah, they suck cock.

*Charlie Parker* · 7th October 2005, 9:36am

Quote:

Originally Posted by Posh

They're called 'Gay For Johnny Depp', describe themselves as 'homocore' and have a record called 'Blood: The Natural Lubricant' and you want the review to be centred less around homosexuality?

Not to mention there's a good two paragraphs there that provide a very accurate description of this band. You probably didn't read it 'cos you were looking for something to start an argument over.

Aye plus the review is written with tongue firmly in cheek. Or something in cheek.
Get a life some of you.