Yes, it's time for THAT rant again..

[Largest of Als]

Originally Posted by *Vestiga*

I swear to god, no matter where I go, what time it is, what type of restaurant/pub it is - there is a child screaming for no reason whatsoever. Which is fine, its a child, but it should be taken outside and left in the car so my head can cease exploding.

*fixed





Al

[Puppy]

I've just had a screaming match with the woman two closes along, for me "having the audacity" to ask her kids not to climb on the fence (new fence by the way) breaking it, then when they ignore me, shouting at them mammy style "Right! Last Warning! Ah'm no telling ye's again. Dae that wan mair time and ye's ur oot". For some reason I tun into fish wife mammy when shouting at children...

Anyhoo she's just screamed at me "If emdaes tellin ma weans tae get aff the fence its me"
"Well gonnae then, cause if that fence gets broken you're getting the bill"

I love tenement arguments

[softparody]

Taken from the Tinyfish myspace blog for Summer's End by Simon:

"Once in the car, we clattered down to the M25 orbital car park and then on the M40 to make our way to the inevitable encounter with the Welcome Break service station near Oxford. We each ordered a whopper with cheese and took turns taking bets over which of the small children looked most likely to collide with Burger King furniture. My money was on 'Kid With The Lion Face Paint And The Yellow Balloon' as she was keen on running very quickly between the tables without really looking where she was going. Sadly for me, Paul being a father himself and experienced in these matters, spotted 'Boy Skidding on Tiled Floor In His Socks' preparing himself for a really big slide. With a huge 'WHACK!', followed by an ear splitting cry for his mum, five pounds was passed between us and we climbed back into the car."

Sarah xx

[Jenpot]

I love that children aren't allowed in my work.