Stealing

[Rev Scapegoat]

Tell him that the next time he steals something, and every time thereafter, you're going to take one of his toys and hand it into a charity shop.

If it comes to that, go into his room, and ask him to give you a toy.
Then put it down and pick whatever's lying out as that'll be more played with

You could go so far as to taking him down to the shop... Hopefully by then he'll have learned his lesson as if he calls your bluff and makes you actually hand the stuff in that'd be one hell of a scene!

[Tacky]

...has no one thought to maybe try and ask him why he's stealing? or does he just shrug and not care when you ask him?

Im not a parent so i dont know what would or wouldnt work, all of the above worked with me, then again i was extremely conditioned and obedient when i was a kid, getting in trouble terrified me!

Does he get more attention from it? Only other thing i can think of.

[Ravenshayde]

Originally Posted by Tacky

...has no one thought to maybe try and ask him why he's stealing? or does he just shrug and not care when you ask him?

Im not a parent so i dont know what would or wouldnt work, all of the above worked with me, then again i was extremely conditioned and obedient when i was a kid, getting in trouble terrified me!

Does he get more attention from it? Only other thing i can think of.

I pretty much get a shrug followed by "I don't know" most of the time.

Originally Posted by Jaemi

Be adult enough to punish the child and follow through with the punishment. I'm willing to bet that you've probably never done that before.

For your information I have, I'm quite strict with my kids.

[Elfaba]

I'd be inclined to agree with Jaemi about the teacher thing to an extent (sorry) - especially if most of the instances of the stealing are not within the school and classroom environment

sure you can consult the teacher about it - in case other kids in the class are doing it too and peer pressure is encouraging him to do it. You can also ask for their advice as to how you can work together to resolve the behavioural issue so the teacher can reiterate and support any rules you have laid out in relation to rewards and reprimand for that kind of behaviour, but i dont think it should be entirely up to the teacher (but i can see that you get that anyways)

I used to work in a childcare project and get a bit tired of seeing some kid i worked with in the supermarket for example with their mother/father and hearing "oh theres that lady from your kids club if you dont stop misbehaving I'll go and tell her and she'll come and sort you out". used to irk me a fair bit, when frankly i just wanted to go shopping and i wasnt even working lol. my sister is a teacher and frequently gets frustrated at this kinda thing too.

However, similarly we would both happily oblige to support the parents discipline and help them tackle issues such as this whilst a child is under our supervision. and its fairly obvious to see that you're not passing the buck here and are being proactive in trying to sort it out, so by all means as i said at the outset ask for the teachers support and tell them about the specific instance where he took money off another boy, but id say the biggest onyss is on you to tackle the behaviours that occur outside of school.

what does he say when you ask him about it?

just make sure you carry through any threats - and make them bigger/more severe the more he does it, ie withdrawing things which are more important to him for longer periods of time, dont let him go to parties/out to play with friends for example (though i know thats extreme but use that if it gets that bad).

id also make him return any things which he has stolen and apologise.

[Ravenshayde]

Originally Posted by Elfaba

I'd be inclined to agree with Jaemi about the teacher thing to an extent (sorry) - especially if most of the instances of the stealing are not within the school and classroom environment

sure you can consult the teacher about it - in case other kids in the class are doing it too and peer pressure is encouraging him to do it. You can also ask for their advice as to how you can work together to resolve the behavioural issue so the teacher can reiterate and support any rules you have laid out in relation to rewards and reprimand for that kind of behavious, but i dont think it should be entirely up to the teacher

I used to work in a childcare project and get a bit tired of seeing some kid i worked with in the supermarket for example with their mother/father and hearing "oh theres that lady from your kids club if you dont stop misbehaving I'll go and tell her and she'll come and sort you out". used to irk me a fair bit, when frankly i just wanted to go shopping and i wasnt working. my sister is a teacher and frequently gets frustrated at this kinda thing too.

However, similarly we would both happily oblige to support the parents discipline and help them tackle issues such as this whilst a child is under our supervision. and its fairly obvious to see that you're not passing the buck here and are being proactive in trying to sort it out, so by all means as i said at the outset ask for the teachers support and tell them about the specific instance where he took money off another boy, but id say the biggest onyss is on you to tackle the behaviours that occur outside of school.

what does he say when you ask him about it?

just make sure you carry through any threats - and make them bigger/more severe the more he does it, ie withdrawing things which are more important to him for longer periods of time, dont let him go to parties/out with friends for example (though i know thats extreme).

id also make him return any things which he has stolen and apologise.

Nice sound advice, thank you I will admit I've never said to him "if you don't stop it, said person is gonna sort you out" I don't believe in it to be honest. When I do ask him why he's doing it I usually get "I don't know" or "because I wanted it". I've managed to curb most of his "bad behaviour" This is like the last hurdle so to speak.

[BloodDrunk]

Originally Posted by Jushin Liger

If you call your Grandma Mamma and your Mamma Pam, you going to jail.

you ain't saving college money, you saving bail money.

epic chris rock

[Elfaba]

Originally Posted by Ravenshayde

Nice sound advice, thank you I will admit I've never said to him "if you don't stop it, said person is gonna sort you out" I don't believe in it to be honest. When I do ask him why he's doing it I usually get "I don't know" or "because I wanted it". I've managed to curb most of his "bad behaviour" This is like the last hurdle so to speak.

have you asked if any of his other pals do it?

[Witch]

Originally Posted by Jaemi

That's shocking.
It's your child and it's upto you to punish him and bring him up right. The teachers got enough todo without you dropping your domestic problems at her feet and expecting her to bring up your child as well as educate him.

Be adult enough to punish the child and follow through with the punishment. I'm willing to bet that you've probably never done that before.

And if you don't punish him, I'll punish you. Because in 10 years, the wee bastard's going to be breaking into my house and stealing my shit.


Heavy "my kid's better than your kid" post here.

not at all, hence i said YET, i honestly have no idea where to start with stealing.

Diane, does he get enough "stuff" off you, like money for sweets or anything, he may feel he's not getting enough and feels he has to steal to have the same as his friends?

Not saying you give him nothing but might be something?

[Elfaba]

at the same time in life some people have more than others and sometimes its just not always possible for parents to keep up with the jones's and kids need to learn this and accept it without stealing

i always feel sorry for some parents feeling so guilt tripped by their kids they feel the need to buckle and get themselves into debt over their kids peer pressure cos such n such in their classes parents bought him a mobile, 2 ponies, a 360 ps3 a wii and a yacht etc...

[Ravenshayde]

Originally Posted by Witch

not at all, hence i said YET, i honestly have no idea where to start with stealing.

Diane, does he get enough "stuff" off you, like money for sweets or anything, he may feel he's not getting enough and feels he has to steal to have the same as his friends?

Not saying you give him nothing but might be something?

I know you didn't mean that at all . Aye that's the worst of it too. gets money on a daily basis for school and all the rest of it. But it doesn't help when some parents take their kids to the shop for stuff in the morning and gives them money for school as well. So that's probably part of it, but I just can't afford that.

[Witch]

Originally Posted by Ravenshayde

I know you didn't mean that at all . Aye that's the worst of it too. gets money on a daily basis for school and all the rest of it. But it doesn't help when some parents take their kids to the shop for stuff in the morning and gives them money for school as well. So that's probably part of it, but I just can't afford that.

Least you knew what i meant.
Oh, i cant afford it either, rachel gets her juice and sweeties and goes to dinner school!

Cant afford anymore.

[AWESOMEUS MAXIMUS]

I'd start by not asking the internet about it, personally.

[crazydiamond85]

If I had pulled a stunt like that I'd also have got my arse kcked up and down the house
not to mention grounded for a month

do you hit your kids?
or are you one of these people who thinks it's wrong?

[Headwork]

Originally Posted by AWESOMEUS MAXIMUS

I'd start by not asking the internet about it, personally.

Why not?

A lot of the time if you ask someone close to you they can be patronising and unhelpful by just saying what they think you want to hear. Being a a stranger on the internet can make people more honest and this forum has parents on it that might have had similar experiences and might be able to help.

It's far better than listening to those who just don't want to upset you or sitting on your arse doing nothing.

[yummy mummy]

It's very common at the age of 6 or 7 for children to 'steal', that is, take something that isn't theirs. They aren't quite mature enough to understand the concept of ownership and have the mindset of 'if I want something, I'm just going to take it'. Stealing should only be viewed as a potential issue if it occurs in the pre teen age group. The best thing you can do for him at the moment is simple reinforcement, and most importantly, make him return anything that he has taken, it's essential that you do this. Don't make a big fuss about it, he's still very young. Hopefully it will all blow over. Try not to get too anxious about it.