[Religion] The Bible

*LesMTS* · 6th February 2009, 8:51pm

I've decided to give the bible an attempt. It's a pretty culturally important book, after all.
I did try to read it before but I made the mistake of treating it like a novel and it became very boring very quickly.
Anyway, this time I'm going to read it in bite sized chunks, well prepared for the fact that it may take me a year or more, and I'm documenting my thoughts as I go in this wee blog thing.

ladysavage · 6th February 2009, 8:54pm

apparently it doesn't end well...

**GreatKingRat** · 6th February 2009, 8:54pm

I'll be keeping my eye on this, I've thought about reading it myself.

Also, scared in case it converts you?

Warped · 6th February 2009, 8:59pm

You do need to read it chunks. But you need to remember its a final draft of something thats been re written a hundred times. Read each chapter and then give it your own conclusion.

L@ur@ · 6th February 2009, 9:08pm

as long at youre not a literal thinker, youll be fine

x

Quiz Bhoy · 6th February 2009, 9:13pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by LesMTS

I've decided to give the bible an attempt. It's a pretty culturally important book, after all.
I did try to read it before but I made the mistake of treating it like a novel and it became very boring very quickly.
Anyway, this time I'm going to read it in bite sized chunks, well prepared for the fact that it may take me a year or more, and I'm documenting my thoughts as I go in this wee blog thing.

Old Testament or the rip off 2nd Gen one?

Warped · 6th February 2009, 9:14pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Quiz Bhoy

Old Testament or the rip off 2nd Gen one?

Murderer!

Elite · 7th February 2009, 12:09am

Quote:

Originally Posted by Warped

You do need to read it chunks. But you need to remember its a final draft of something thats been re written a hundred times. Read each chapter and then give it your own conclusion.

chinese whispers style

Mwezzi · 7th February 2009, 12:16am

Trust me, even if you don't treat it as a novel, it never gets interesting. I have a house full of the damned (blessed?) things, in at least two languages. It's probably more readable in Gaelic, though, which is a bit odd.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Warped

You do need to read it chunks. But you need to remember its a final draft of something thats been re written a hundred times. Read each chapter and then give it your own conclusion.

Get a version from before the KJV, you'll discover some of those biblical truths and teachings were more vague or even non-existent before he got his grubby mitts on the manuscript. Also, 'sons' is the new 'children' according the the New International versions.

JennyPiccolo · 7th February 2009, 12:16am

There's a Glaswegian version too, what i seen in borders. fuck knows why.

*LesMTS* · 7th February 2009, 12:24am

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mwezzi

Trust me, even if you don't treat it as a novel, it never gets interesting.

I disagree. I have read Job and Revelation and they're fucking ace.
I just want to do the inbetweeny bits. You'll probably prove correct there.
I'm halfway into Genesis now, but only written up the first three chapters. My opinion of Genesis so far is that it's alright. It's entertaining. Murder, sex, scandal.

MarkMono · 7th February 2009, 12:33am

Aye, at least in the running for one of the best books ever.

After a thoroughly atheistic childhood I sought it out fairly quickly. You have to keep in mind that some people actually take it seriously to truly comprehend the gravity of some of it, but its worth persevering for the power of the language alone.

**djtoast** · 7th February 2009, 4:53am

There's some great bits. Where else do you get classy writing like

Quote:

But Jael, Heber's wife, took a tent peg and seized a hammer in her hand, and went secretly to him and drove the peg into his temple, and it went through into the ground; for he was sound asleep and exhausted. So he died.

?

I've read the great bulk of it, probably 90%. The King James Version sounds great and is the most rewarding I think because the language is so poetic - you're unlikely to be swayed by the substance so you might as well get some meaty language to amuse you.

The Revised Standard Version is great for ease of comprehension. Anything newer sounds to me like a children's book

But the King James is full of great stuff like this account of Zaccheus trying to see Jesus:

Quote:

And he sought to see Jesus who he was; and could not for the press, because he was little of stature.

which conjures up images of Jesus being surrounded by paparazzi - it actually means a press of people and is ruined in more modern translations like this:

Quote:

He was trying to see who Jesus was, but he couldn't do so due to the crowd, since he was a short man.

Anyhow, humour aside, isn't this in the King James just wonderful?:

Quote:

1 And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be taxed. 2 (And this taxing was first made when Cyrenius was governor of Syria.) 3 And all went to be taxed, every one into his own city. 4 And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David

5 To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child. 6 And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered. 7 And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn. 8 And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. 9 And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. 10 And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. 11 For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. 12 And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. 13 And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,
14 Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

"great with child" ; "sore afraid" ; "abiding in the field" ; where else do you see this immensely powerful, evocative, efficient use of language? Only in Milton and Shakespeare for my money... Later translations replace "taxed" with "enrolled", "registered"... all the beauty is gone in a stroke.

Whatever else the Bible is or isn't, it's great literature and it deserves a translation that does justice to the scope and scale of the subject matter... Obviously for believers debating over doctrinal minutiae the exact meanings are important but you needn't be so concerned with that aspect I expect, you're unlikely to be converted by the stories

Dec · 7th February 2009, 12:43pm

The first half's like an epic Harry Potter, the second half is a socialist Aesop's Fables.

JohnReinhardt · 7th February 2009, 7:44pm

If/when you read revelations, just imagine it as a script for a peter jackson movie.

Also, I always found paradise lost (sort-of a prequel to the bible in some ways. actually, now that i think about it, the star wars prequels knicked a lot from this- "lets take the main bad guy, and try to humanise him by showing how he became the force of evil he has become) to be much better than the bible.
Paradise Regained? Eh, skip it.