Very true. Personally, I'd say close this thread and open a "general behaviour" discussion thread or similar. I think it would be more productive to seperate it from this particular incident.Originally Posted by karbon14
PETRO VOODOO
Noone's against banter and verbal horseplay, it's just that laying into someone who's never been on the site before in their "introduction" thread is a bit out of order.
This individual was particularly sensitive, aye, but that doesn't really alter the general issue.
Willies.
It#s really not alway harmless.
I will close my ears and my heart and I will be a stone.
Forbes doesn't think so.it shouldn't really be a discussion in light of what's been said here. it should be a new set of community standards and if you don't stick by them you're not welcome. but the forum would be left with 12 people if it was enforced.
Not saying it should be a discussion, just that if it's going to be then it shouldn't be centred around this particular incident.
PETRO VOODOO
It's not particularly centered as i look at it, this discussion is something that's needed said and I think this incident has just been the catalyst for it.
Speaking as a user who has only been a member for a couple of months, what's the first thing you all did before signing up here? You had a browse around right, see what was happening, what the topics were, how they were being handled etc... what's the LAST thing you want to see coming on here as a new user? A thread like this!! Get it deleted and forget about it!
The guy clearly had problems adjusting to a community of varied individuals, he'd already stated he had left a few other communities before due to 'abuse'... now whether this was proper bullying or simply a sensitive fellal trying to fit into a group of people who get all the 'in-jokes' and are somewhat desensitised to the humour, brash opinions and rants of their fellow users due to either the length of time they've been registered or the fact that a good majority of people on here are aquainted in a social setting.
Ok so in my opinion the supposed 'digs' could be seen as harmless fun to you all who are used to that kind of humour (I personally wouldn't have taken offence to any of it and I laugh my ass off at the digs about my long hair) But I suppose you've gotta tread lightly with someone new, give them time to settle.
This place is full of talented, clever, cultured and interesting individuals. It also happens to house a couple of fannies and yeah, debates and arguments will inevatibly arise... but seriously... is the fact that this place is so varied and caters to all kinds of interests, not what keeps you coming back? I know in my case it certainly is.
Love is The Devil (And I am in Love)
"Centred on" might not have been the best way to express it but it's a thread in "Introduce Yourself", still bearing the deleted user's name containing numerous references to the original incident(s) which has developed into a larger debate over acceptable behaviour, etc.
Bearing in mind that this is one of the first areas new members will look at I just think it would be a good idea to leave this particular thread where it is (link to it from a new thread if necessary) and discuss it elsewhere if need be.
PETRO VOODOO
Again, I think that's a technicality that's missing the point. There is no good time to discuss these things, and I think the fact that it;s got to 13 pages means folk have got something to say!
Didnt he say he had some form of Autism?! did I imagine that? So ye I think people went way to far and he didnt understand what was going on which wasnt in any way his fault!
Metaphor for a missing moment, pull me into your perfect circle...
Eh? A technicality? What point am I missing? Where did I suggest people don't have anything to say on the matter?!
I'm not trying to argue any kind of point or "technicality" here - I just suggested that this thread might not be the most welcoming sight to a new user (which seems fairly relevant) and that it might be better continuing the discussion elsewhere.
PETRO VOODOO
Another point that folk aren't grasping is the duty we owe to new users.
Every user is entitled to expect banter and a bit of joking around, but ALL users need to remember that they owe an extra special duty to those who aren't in a position to defend themselves or don't understand what's going on.
What sickens me is that instead of backing off or trying to include someone who obviously has problems, the knife seems to get twisted.
To me , it's like hitting someone half your size.
For years and years the moderators of this site were criticised for not bringing these discussions out in the open. If I was a new user I think I'd rather see that issues like this were discussed and taken seriously rather than being brushed under the carpet.
An open discussion about a problem on the site is quite healthy.
How have you managed to interpret me basically saying "continue the discussion, just not here" as something along the lines of "don't talk about it, it didn't happen, brush it under the carpet"?
PETRO VOODOO
I was kinda addressing another couple of users with that point, my apologies for not making it clearer.
I think it;s pretty pointless to be debating where to have a discussion like this, the most important thing is that it's out in the open and reactive to what's going on on this site. I fail to see how it matters....
A few people seem to be saying "this is what happens on the internet, he should grow up and get over it." This implies that it's the same for all sites, but it's simply not. At least one of the other sites i use has a newbie section, accessible only by newbies and mods, and a mod dedicated to looking after newbies and to explaining the site to them. There are very few arguments, people rarely leave, and i don't remember the last time someone other than a spammer got banned. There's plenty of harmless banter, and occasionally it gets taken the wrong way, but it's normally solved very quickly and without the intervention of the mods. The internet isn't just full of idiots and people slinging abuse, so there is no reason why people should expect offensive comments when they join a site.
Perhaps the set-up i described above wouldn't be ideal for a site as big as alt nation but that's no reason why AN shouldn't be aiming for a similar result. The banter can be intimidating and at times it can prevent people from posting. The site is a good, and is a great way to meet people and find out about various events, but perhaps without some of the more extreme comments (which are often best kept for offline conversations between friends) then AN might attract more newbies and develop into a more global website, giving it's members a chance to make friends worldwide rather than just in glasgow
Those who matter don't mind, those who mind don't matter.
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