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Old 1st December 2002, 9:38pm   #16
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Quote:
Originally posted by Bobzilla
I disagree, the impression I get of the girl from right after the initial few sentences is that of someone slightly older. If you compare the two parts in question I feel that that it doesn't sound right.
A kid that age with that sort of mind and attitude. Thinks she's above everyone else, precocious and manipulative.

Well read, well spoken, above her suuroundings. It's also a kind of cold and impersonal way of talking about your mother. Mother and Mummy are the two least affectionate terms you can use for your mum, ma, maw, mam whatever.

The fact that she's so young and talks that way is disconcerting, an early hint she's a bloody freak.
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Old 2nd December 2002, 7:57am   #17
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my point is that it doesnt fit with the rest of the story in my eyes...the style works but the first part is inconsistent with the rest of the story
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Old 2nd December 2002, 10:50pm   #18
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This could go on forever Bob.

I can't be fecked.
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Old 3rd December 2002, 10:40am   #19
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It is a bit clunky
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Old 4th December 2002, 1:51pm   #20
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lol

you guys are practically agreeing with eachother in your arguments

the story was amazin staley, i loved it

kept thinkin , right from the second her da showed up he was gonny smack her, but the end was just tremendous

keep 'em comin'

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